Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Break through

As I mention from time to time, I have some interesting nights.  Last night was quite useful.  I will often wake up babbling nonsense words, but I had this interesting vision: a set of boxes that contained different experiences.  I opened them.  In one of them, I was happy, laughing, babbling, and then BAM I took this major shot in my solar plexus. I think biologically, archeologically, this is what happened.  I was punched as a baby.

Then I was given a clear message: a feeling of happy verbalizing, the punch, then shaking.  It was literally a phased message in body code, as crystal clear as it could be.  Words that were better than words, because it included the demonstration of "that".

This is a great thing.  I think having pulled that out, it will take my solar plexus out of the loop in terms of generating tension.

And I feel pride in having pulled a Houdini.  Born to narcissistic parents, traumatized before I could walk, hit regularly from age 1 to 4, moved around regularly--preventing the formation of stable, long term friendships--and disconnected from regular contact with any family: I am still growing.   Fuck the odds.  I am still alive.

And after this I had all sorts of paranoid dreams.  An omnipotent security state tracking down the last remnants of humanity.  Dreams of course can have multiple levels.  For me, of course, what I was seeing represented was my fear, the fear soup I have lived in all these years, of being chased and pursued.  Actually, another one of the boxes contained me crawling, desperate to escape, and being unable to, since of course I was just a small baby.

But we of course do need to fear this.  There are, in my view, a considerable number of well organized and well funded people who want to build a planetary government, which will be run by emotionally immature people with crap ethical systems, no empathy, and no true long term vision other than universalization of control.  They want to rule the world because they can't figure out how to live actually useful lives.

In my case, fear is disappearing outright.  It is simply dropping away.  I will resist these people--and try to talk to them, through this blog--by pointing out better way, more human ways, less evil ways, of building a global civilization.  This is what we want: civilization.  Culture.  Global government is merely a system of control.  Laws exist where men are bad.  We should want less laws, not more, because men (and of course women) are growing steadily morally.  No plan exists among the globalists, that I can see, to do more than indoctrinate kids in egalitarianism, where radical environmentalism adds the postulate that we are all equal to the earth, and it us.  Socialism as mass death, despite the scientific feasibility of continuing with the present population, and letting it naturally decline as standards of living get higher.

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