Friday, July 3, 2015

Personalities

In the Hoffman Process they teach you to think of your "self" in four pieces: your Spiritual Self, your Intellectual Self, your Emotional/Inner Child Self, and your body.

I wonder if I might rename these.  1) your Spiritual unconscious; 2) your emotionally dissociated self; 3) the part of you which holds the trauma and which expresses your joys; 4) where all these land physically, and express themselves.

The Process itself deals with issues that happen birth to age 12, or roughly puberty.  And it is interesting that they tend practically to conflate the emotional self with the inner child.  In inner work, it is really quite astonishing to note how much and how pervasively the past inhabits all of our presents.  Rosebuds live in us all, or so I think.

And if we think of our unconscious as a set of containers, then the task is to learn to move between them skillfully.  I think much of the delight in life comes from a sense of childlike wonder and enthusiasm and curiosity.  Yet, we must also dissociate sometimes from the present moment so as to plan, and think, and perceive with our minds.  Life cannot be all fun and games, even if it should also not be devoid of them.

But the biggest reality underlying all this is our lack of consciousness of our spirit.  It, too, exists in a sort of repressed box which some people never open at all.  We are dissociated from our spiritual selves, to some greater or lesser extent; divided from a source of life and vitality that floats in the very air.

I would posit that your knowledge of God is innate.  Your spiritual instincts are innate.  But like emotions, spiritual tasks must flow through us.  They do not manifest as abstractions.

It has been said we live in the age of abstraction (which I will note is quite different from an age of Reason).  If so, can we not posit from that fact alone that to the extent this ideal is pursued, emotional skill is reduced?  And is not abstraction a perfect refuge from emotional wounds and traumas of all sorts?

I have what I suppose I will call kinesthetic images present themselves to me from time to time.  I was pondering my own growth, and saw as an alternative the path of evil, which consists in placing a barrier roughly halfway down your life, and confining yourself to that.  It is a roof, placed at a low level, which forces people to crawl to move. It spreads out horizontally forever.  Only in crushing others can such people suit themselves to their space.

I am not entirely sure what that means, but suffice it to say Goodness is a movement of expansion, and its contrary one of confinement and contraction.  Their actions are therefore confined to reducing the movement of others, of tearing down, breaking, and defiling.

This evil consciousness is available to me.  It is in me.  That is the only reason I can see it.  It was one of my possible paths, should I have chosen to stay broken, had I chosen madness.

But I didn't, and I now have space.  I have time.  I exist in a much larger world I am only beginning to connect with, only beginning to learn and love.

This post is a mess.  I will leave it to you to connect it all up, if you can.  And if you can't, there may yet be some shiny fragments you can call into use in making your own way through this dangerous, confusing, interesting, beautiful world.

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