Monday, August 31, 2015


When the Communists used to--and still do, unless I miss my mark badly--say "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet", they are speaking, for all practical purposes, of human sacrifice, and ritual torture.

What is a Gulag, but a game played by sadistic psychopaths?

What is reeducation, but ritual torture?

Could there be any important distinction between a victim made to cry out Satan or Mao while in pain?

I myself am capable of inflicting pain.  I am no angel.  Where the protection of my children particularly is concerned, I am capable of anything you can imagine, and since I am more imaginative than most, likely much more.

But what I am willing to do is place my attention on this place, on taming it, on recognizing it, on allowing it to do the things which are appropriate, which are good.

I don't ever want to lose my testicles.  I don't ever want to be helpless coward.  I don't ever want to give in to that very congenial lie that we can all get along if we just go along. I want to be a warrior who detests war, and does everything--everything--in his power to make it less likely, and its converse--a joyful peace--more likely.

This is what I think Life asks of me, and I try daily to show up and do my best. I can do no more.

You are lovable

I actually think it is more useful to tell people they are lovable than that they are loved.  If you love them, you may leave.  But the quality of being lovable becomes an attribute of THEM.  And people sometimes lie when they say "I love you".  I've been lied to many times.

Much of my parenting has been intuitive, and largely based on doing the opposite of what was done with me, but it occurs to me this was the other side of a little ritual/game I played with my kids.  I"ve described it before, but perhaps not quite this way.

I would tell them "I love you", then ask "do you know why I love you?"  And they were supposed to say "why" even though they knew what I was going to say.  And I would say "because you are my daughter and because you are lovable."

So this creates a triple stability.  They are told they are loved.  They are told my fidelity is absolute even if they choose to act unlovable.  And they are reinforced in the traits which make them lovable, while hopefully internalizing as an on-going permanent sense of their self that they have worth and value.

Neither of my kids has acted out in the slightest, and I don't think they will.  Their teenage years were as easy--actually easier, since I rarely see them--as their earlier years.

It all depends on the relationship you build, and build is the word.  Words do not matter at all.  What matters is who you are, and whether or not you actually care about them.

The head and the gut

I've been feeling like there is something I need to do before I expand, and it hit me that I need to connect, as a gestalt, as a "that", the quivering in my gut with an intellectual acknowledgement of the presence in this world of evil.

All of us are capable of evil.  But I think when we fear evil out there, we are really projecting out, really externalizing something still within us.

If I might perhaps add an appendage on to Jung's work, the Shadow self layers nicely onto the gut energy centers and neurological centers, particularly the unmyelinated vagus nerve.

I don't think anyone incapable or unwilling to see evil in the world can ever really tap into the personal power we were all meant to have.  We all live half lives (most of us: I like to think there are some people out there I would REALLY like to meet), compared to what is possible.

In sacrificial culture they had regular access to this part, and it likely felt like something transcendent when they touched the primal animal in themselves, with all the energy and vigor it released.  These Satanists--and we can speak with certainty when we posit their existence, since they are increasingly proud of it--no doubt find release in their rituals.  They do something.

I remember talking with a woman many years ago in Europe who had participated in a Satanic ritual, and it scared the shit out of her, because some very real, quite tangible stuff happened.  I don't doubt this.  There is a barmaid in my town I think was into that sort of thing in her twenties.  I can still feel the stain on her.

But the point I wanted to make is that I have a merger I need to make.  I have long noticed that I will sometimes feel a compelling need to seek out the weird and anomalous on the internet.  Sometimes it is the Graham Hancock stuff, sometimes ghosts, sometimes UFO's, sometimes serial killers, but all of it is "out there".

Our animal instincts present themselves to us, initially, as something foreign, as something alien. And what I now realize is that some instinctual part of me, some intuitive part of me, was trying to tell me that all that WAS me.  It was not out there at all, and that I could find some really interesting experiences making the acquaintance of my shadow, of my gut, of my viscera, of my stolen rage,and my potential power.



Sadism is a poor solution to a real problem.


In responding to a comment, I looked up and reread a letter on the Oklahoma City bombing by  General Partin.

His conclusion:

Based on my experience in weapons development and bomb damage analysis, and on my review of all evidence available, I can say, with a high level of confidence, that the damage pattern on the reinforced concrete superstructure could not possibly have been attained from the single truck bomb. The total incompatibility of this pattern of destruction with a single truck bomb lies in the simple, incontrovertible fact that some of the columns collapsed that should not have collapsed if the damage were caused solely by a truck bomb, and, conversely, some of the columns were left standing that should have collapsed if the damage had been caused solely by the truck bomb.
Here is what I wanted to comment on, though: "It is my observation that the effort required to bomb the A. P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City pales in comparison with the effort to cover up evidence in Oklahoma and the media's withholding of vital information from the American people."

The same, obviously, could be said of 9/11.

The question is often asked, and it is a logical question: how could a conspiracy that vast be so cohesive?  How could there be no leaks?  How has there been no one willing to step forward and say "I was there, and this is what I did, and this is what I saw."

Even with regard to Benghazi, we are finally going to see both a documentary and a film based on the accounts of those who were silenced for so many years.  They may not tell the whole truth, but they will tell a lot of it.

It is impossible (for an honest, reflective person) to speak with confidence about such deep mysteries, but it seems to me the most logical conclusion is that all the people involved BELIEVE in the cause.  They are not betraying confidences because they are working with their friends and colleagues.

And what is that cause?  My gut tells me it is bringing about a global iteration of the Pharaonic project, and that the proximate bonding method is something most of us would call Satanism.

I read books like Deeply Odd and I can't help but wonder if they contain truths.  Newtown, CT was the home of one of the only posted Satanic churches in the country.

As any regular readers I may have know, I often think out loud, and I often propose bold, slightly or completely crazy ideas.  This is OK.  Nobody depends on this blog for their safety and I don't make a living at it.  I am not asserting what I am about to say is true, and I'm not even asserting I think it is true.  It is something to think about.

One clear way you could ensure someone's loyalty would be first traumatizing them, or making sure they had trauma in them, and then regularly enacting sadistic rituals.  The enthusiasm of that person for that "work" would be obvious.  And if they ever started entertaining doubts, there would be a period where they started acting differently, where their previous zeal was diminished.  It would take many months, likely many years, for any stirring of conscience to bear fruit into genuine regret.  And it would be on prominent display the whole time, for the group to take what action it sees fit.

Our world could be so much better than it is.  Why isn't it?  Who is at the center of the efforts to make it worse?  Human stupidity and cupidity, obviously, but there seems to be more than that.

A different sort of Nihilism

I was thinking about this.

First, it seems that this amounts to a public outreach campaign.  You have one place anyone can go to get tickets, and a second location where, presumably, existing members of the Satanic Temple can go to meet their new members.  I wonder if some of those people might not have been prominent members of the community.  Certainly, they could have been.

Second, it seems the news media was being manipulated, in that the statue is not actually getting unveiled "in public".  It was unveiled in a private location, but pictures were provided to the news media, which actually provided significant advertising for the cause and presumably caused a lot more people to show up.

Third, I find it interesting that they wanted to make the tie-in "controversy", as if there were not something inherently wrong with Satanic pedophilia.  I can't help but feel more and different feelings would have been on display fifty years ago.  The reporters seemed to have no reaction at all.  Our sensibilities have become jaundiced to all but those certain situations involving race, sex, or sexual orientation where we react like Pavlovian dogs to start salivating and barking at the usual targets.

Fourth, I GET these people, I think.  They have horrors in their lives, traumas in their lives.  They feel lost, isolated, alone, different. They feel weird, disconnected.  Some of the worst hurt of them have likely already lapsed into sadism, but all of them feel a need for connection through pain.  What Baphomet offers them is a release from loneliness and solitude.  That is why so many of them are smiling.  They are anticipating a community of like-minded people, and a ceremony where they are a part of something bigger.

As I have said, I think sacrifice speaks to the gut self, the animal self, the predator.  This is where trauma hides, and where it can be released, temporarily.  The "high" religions of antiquity turned sacrifice into a spectacle and contained it within cultural limits.  To this I would oppose the headhunters of the world, who when they felt rage or grief would simply go kill someone, and take a trophy to recollect that feeling of release.

As I have said before, too, I think serial killers are enacting on a personal level the same dynamic which sacrifice does on a social level.

It has been my sense since college that an understanding of sacrifice--again, an "act of the sacred"--is essential to understanding the human condition itself.

And what is the difference between human and animal sacrifice?  According to this analysis, the level of detachment, which is to say hurt.  The Carthaginians I mentioned in the previous post threw children live into an enormous fire, just as Elie Wiesel reported the Nazis did 2,000 years later.

I will remind you as well that the word Holocaust is a religious word, used to refer to an animal sacrifice which is entirely consumed by fire.

The Psychological Roots of Nihilism

One of the effects of trauma is hypervigilance, which amounts to an instinctual sense that EVERYTHING MATTERS.  That sound, that glance, that unreturned phone call, that shadow: they all may signal danger.  It would not be wrong to call it a prolonged perceptual spasm.

But you cannot maintain a spasm forever.

In my own case I started reading what I would now term nihilistic literature--that of the Dada movement--in my late teens to try and kill this nagging sense that everything mattered.  In my own case, having been raised by outwardly pious and highly judgmental parents, I was afraid to lift a finger to do anything.  I could not remain a child, and I could not emerge into adulthood.  So I had what amounted to a mild mental breakdown, of the sort common enough among clever people in our conflicted and deeply confused age.

In order to counter the effects of the spasm, I took what amounted to an affective neurotoxin, the idea that NOTHING mattered.

But this of course leads directly to nowhere.

I ought of course logically--the logic of our time being of course highly illogical--to have begun reading socialist comic books (they are all, even Marx, comic books).

But I decided to pursue "spirituality", which by and large has its own set of comic books, its own confusions masquerading as profundity, its own escapes from reality.  Most of the time, in my experience, if someone describes themselves as "spiritual" you should run away.  This is regrettable, but largely true. I am often separated from people with whom I ought to share a common label.

Then I discovered, decades later, the clinical uses of alcohol.  I have used it to anesthetize my inner child while I try and figure out a way forward.  It gets what it needs, and my mature self gets some freedom of action.

My task presently is to merge the two without alcohol, and the only way I can do that is to get the message to my traumatized self that some things matter and some don't.  That alertness is sometimes useful, and sometimes superfluous or even counterproductive.

Deep in meditation yesterday I was speaking to this part, and it fully expected to be killed any day throughout childhood.  I assured it that I could guarantee it would make it to at least 46.  I can't make any promises about tomorrow, but it never expected to get this far.

It occurred to me the other day that this blog is a bit of a boundary violation.  I overshare, and it comes from an emotionally underdeveloped place.  It is likely much or most of this should just go in my written journal.  Or, since physically writing slows me down terribly, I could type things up and print them.

But this is still somewhat comforting.  It is a type of sharing, even if I am sharing with persons unknown to me, some of whom presumably wish me ill.  None of us make it out of this world alive, or unscarred.  The deeper the cuts, the deeper the experience.  And we choose daily what to do with that experience.  Me, I use it as wind, or try to.

The point of this post, though, is I suppose to call Nihilism what it is: intellectualized trauma.  I may have said this, but I like to think that when I repeat myself, I do so in slightly different ways.  I can't remember all I write.

And I was thinking yesterday about the movie "Pan's Labyrinth", and the cruelty of the fascist father.  And I was pondering how the rebels--the Stalin backed Communists--would have had similar people emerge if they had won.  As it was, they kept torture chambers, and I'm sure assassinated what enemies they could. 

Then I got to thinking that the Fasces itself was an emblem of the Romans, who for their part would at times obliterate cities and even civilizations.  They would slaughter hundreds of thousands of people, and raze their buildings.  If my math is correct, they killed some 450,000 Carthaginians.

And I read this interesting passage from there: 

Scipio, when he looked upon the city as it was utterly perishing and in the last throes of its complete destruction, is said to have shed tears and wept openly for his enemies. After being wrapped in thought for long, and realizing that all cities, nations, and authorities must, like men, meet their doom; that this happened to Ilium, once a prosperous city, to the empires of AssyriaMedia, and Persia, the greatest of their time, and to Macedonia itself, the brilliance of which was so recent, either deliberately or the verses escaping him, he said:
A day will come when sacred Troy shall perish,
And Priam and his people shall be slain.
And when Polybius speaking with freedom to him, for he was his teacher, asked him what he meant by the words, they say that without any attempt at concealment he named his own country, for which he feared when he reflected on the fate of all things human.

And I ponder that Communism and Fascism, far from being modern phenomena, are ancient.  There has always been some pretext for rapine.  There has always been trauma, horror, and I think trauma has been often practiced and repeated virtually intentionally, as a means of compelling obedience, and because to do otherwise would bring to the conscious awareness of the parent the arbitrariness and damaging nature of their own childhoods.
Is the craven intellectual decadence of our modern universities without precedent?  Of course not.  Many civilizations have experienced decline and fall.  
What might be unique is the sum total of possible knowledge open to us.  Yes, that is unique.  That makes the insufferable stupidity on display all the more blatant, since everything they could need made available to them to reach intelligent and defensible conclusions is there.
But trauma.  By and large people who go into academia are by inclination people who "live in their heads", which itself means almost by definition that they have unprocessed emotions their work enables them to avoid.
So we have a system which more or less directly selects the least emotionally intelligent people in our civilization and grants them the privilege of inculcating within our young a culture they have almost consciously separated themselves from.  Small wonder imbecility has been growing for a half century or more.

And I think, too, that with America we have created the first truly Liberal, large, relevant nation in the world's history.  We have our civil protections, our Constitution, our Republic as reference points.  We have created something meaningfully good, which is nonetheless being rejected by people who, if they possessed an ounce of soul and sense, would cherish it, while still trying to perfect it in a conscious and responsible manner.  The sheer unnecessaryness of all the loss which is planned by our thought elites is infuriating.

Still, I think courage is its own reward.  There is an intrinsic pleasure in defiance.
That will do for now. I am likely displacing.  That is my new word for when I find myself writing when I should be doing.  This needed saying, though, and I'm glad I said it.
Have a good day, anonymous reader!!!!

Media complicity and hypocrisy

I liked this article:

Had a white straight man killed a black gay man, released first-person tape of the shooting, and then unleashed a manifesto about being victimized by affirmative action and anti-religious bigotry from homosexuals, the media would never stop covering the story. They’d be eager to report that shooter’s motives with all the attendant politically correct hullaballoo about the racism and homophobia of the United States more broadly. We would hear about white supremacy (reprehensible Black Lives Matter leader Deray McKesson actually jumped the gun, thinking the shooter was white, and tweeted, “Whiteness will explain away nearly anything”).

I’m not a Donald Trump supporter because I don’t think he represents my beliefs, but the success of his loud-mouthery should send a message to the mainstream news media. The message is this: You lie to us every day and we hate you for it. I’d like to add, Your dishonest narrative isn’t fooling anybody, but I’m sure it is. But not all the people, and not all of the time. 

Sunday, August 30, 2015


The sufi opens his hands to the universe
and gives away each instant, free.
Unlike someone who begs on the street for money to survive,
a dervish begs to give you his life.

This is my favorite line of his.  I will note that what he is describing here is enlightened selfishness.  We can all only be selfish.  Even masochism is a type of selfishness.  The universe is what it is, and we are what we are.
And this is fine.


I have reached a point where I can imagine being deeply fulfilled and deeply happy without people.  Not that I need or want to do without people, but that I can do without them, and still be happy.  And it seems to me that this is where true love starts.  You have to be outside the system in order to truly see how it operates.  Put less clinically, the less needy I am, the less my need colors my perception.

Stepping into this world, though, frightens me.  In our culture, need is assumed.  In most cultures it is assumed.  Where I am entering is the monk on the mountain, and this scares me.  But I think it is going to make me a lot smarter, too, and even if I am jumping out into the air, even if I don't personally know anyone who has made this transition, it is supportive air.  I have been seeing signs everywhere that it is time, but perhaps banally what caused me to post this was SMASHING my previous score on a pattern recognition game in Lumosity I have played perhaps 50 times.  A 50% improvement on a game where I was quite mature.

I feel happy, and it is true that being happy makes you smarter and more perceptive.  Whatever I have thought, whatever I have written, whatever I have done, has been only a small fraction of what I am capable of with the chains off.

Saturday, August 29, 2015


In order to believe that Hillary did not knowingly break the law daily during her entire tenure at the State Department, one would have to believe that she had some method of segregating classified and unclassified emails and that she ONLY read the classified ones while she was in the office.  If she was working from home, this would mean that she could not read or act on anything classified.  This proposition is ludicrous.

I think any sane and honest person looking at this setup cannot fail to conclude 1) she knew what the law was; 2) she knew she was breaking it; 3) she only got away with because she was the highest ranking official in her Department, which actually makes it much more egregious; 4) she was hiding a significant amount of both illegal and unethical activity, in my view not limited to allowing foreign governments and corporation to buy favors. For example, it has long been rumored that a more covert part of the gun running operation from Benghazi to Syria, which has been more or less admitted now, was smuggling chemical weapons to the "rebels"--the people who have now exposed themselves as the Islamic radicals they largely obviously were even then--in order to conduct a false flag attack WHICH HAPPENED.  Do you all remember this?  That chemical weapons were used against the Syrian people and that Obama tried to use it as a casus belli?  Innocent people were massacred to get us into a war which had no bearing on our national security or interest, and at that fighting alongside jihadists.

If Hillary is not arrested and put in jail we can safely assume that some important part of our system has disintegrated.  We can assume justice is not blind, that a different set of rules applies to the power elite, and that we are being played as patsies, as Trump said.  Those same offenses in anyone else would have resulted in an immediate arrest.

But people in high offices are cowards.  How else to explain the Supreme Court's craven refusal to visit the birth certificate issue, among other things?


Trump argued he is surging in national polls because he represents the Tea Party supporters ignored by Democrats and betrayed by Republicans.

“I love the Tea Party,” Trump said. “You people have not been treated fairly. These are people who work hard and love their country, and then get beat up by the media. It’s disgusting.”

“At least I have a microphone and can fight back,” the outspoken billionaire added.

Trump indicated he envisions a much wider base for his campaign than traditional Republican voters next election cycle.

“You don’t know how big you are,” he told listeners. “The Tea Party has tremendous power. It’s Democrats, it is evangelicals, it is everybody.”
I think he is right. It's not just Republicans that are angry.  Only perhaps 10-15% of the electorate is hard left, but all the rest never hear any alternative ideas.  They are shut out.  The Democrat run media censors them, and the Republicans either don't protest or actively cooperate.  There is NO WAY that a debate where Donald Trump is present will not include the presentation of new ideas, and new ways of thinking, ways which coincide with what many, many people have been saying privately, but thought nobody else thought, or would even listen to.

Here's the bumper sticker: PRESIDENT Donald Trump: get used to saying it.

I keep thinking of Lincoln's comment on Grant.  All sorts of negatives were brought out about him, about his drinking, about his character, to which Lincolns responded "But he FIGHTS".

We've had enough McClellan's. 

The 1980's

There were a succession of generations before the present one who lived through the Cold War and the perennial fear of nuclear war, and who were also much more conscious, seemingly, of the banality and alienation of the present age.  Looking back, there seems to have been a large explosion of exploration and ideas in the 1960's and 1970's, and ever since things have gotten slower and duller.  Me, I came of age in the Reagan era.

I just watched Koyaanisqatsi again last night, and it brought back a flood of memories. It made me think too of "End of the World", which I see was 1991.  That movie had a mood which captured that time well.  Even though we are far advanced in all the things which were feared back then, people seem trapped in banalities and distractions.  Perhaps they feel they have no choice.  It seems more likely that cowardice is becoming more and more common, even as our sense of the ability to control our collective destiny seems to shrink.

The people who might once have preoccupied themselves with the nuclear arms race--and frankly who ought to be equally or more concerned with nuclear proliferation, although of course that would fly in the face of their prejudices--now enforce speech codes and make college kids take classes whose essence is that you can't have sex with drunk women, even if they ask for it, and even if they decide 9 months later--as at Columbia--that consensual drunk sex they both enjoyed was rape.  Rape, we learn, is a construct just like your gender.  Because nothing makes sense.  And why should it?  Sense is a construct, but the notion that sense is a construct is not.  That is true.  Really, really fucking true.

Even if one finds fault with the notion of unilateral, or even unverifiable bilateral nuclear disarmament, these were at least important issues, of existential importance to the continuance of global civilization.

Reagan's success, and the continuing partial success of our partial free market system, has removed that issue, and largely those of profound, real poverty in the United States.

Globally, there are many important issues remaining, such as the status of Dalits in India, Islamic oppression of women, the oppressive Communist tyrannies in Cuba and North Korea, and the less oppressive tyrannies in China and Indochina, Zimbabwe, Venezuela and elsewhere, but the box leftist thinking puts around people--really the noose, which tightens slowly, suffocating first the capacity for independent thinking, and then the capacity for the consistent use of principle based reasoning--has made these issues invisible, and effective, reason based action impossible.

What mediocrity, and how dull, that young people's minds can only be fired up by issues like gay marriage, transgenderism, and the right to bully anyone who fails to wear the emblem of political correctness on their left arm.

There are large worlds waiting to be discovered.  Even in the sciences, we have yet to become intelligent and reintegrate field theories.  We have yet to plausibly explain evolution.  We have yet to bring into mainstream science the ample and empirically impeccably well validated research in things like Remote Viewing, and precognition, and telekinesis.

I understand, but I do not accept, the reasons people offer for why they are forced to live in cages.  This need not be the end of time and freedom.  It may turn out that way, but we all had and to the point HAVE choices.

Friday, August 28, 2015


I don't go to the doctor often.  I never get sick, and I'm overall healthy.  I just got my first physical in maybe 5 years.  Everything good, but it got me looking at my insurance.  My insurance premiums tripled, while my deductible went up $1,200.  This is lose/lose.  The ACA is literally sucking money away from me to people who vote Democrat for a living.

Fuck these people, and fuck the people who use them. I am the type of person who makes America work, and the more stress on us, the less goodies to go around.  That's how the real world works.

Business Idea

I think we have reached the point where a Politically Incorrect store could do well.  If it gets picketed, that will only increase its credibility.  And if it is on-line, it can't get picketed, at least easily.

I wonder if we could roll back out all those joke books from the 1970's, with Pollack jokes, and black jokes, and Italian jokes.

It might be a flash in the pan, but I think for a time it would do a handsome business.  There are so many of us who are SICK with the abuses of truth and decency which are perpetrated by the Thought Police.

No black or Jewish person is helped if you don't tell that joke about the Jew, the basketball and the Greek.

In fact the ENTIRETY of the speech restrictions we are seeing work to reduce awareness of ACTUAL failures.  The more we fail to address important problems, the less we talk about them, and the more we talk about how we are talking.

The essence of talking about talking--which is more or less what occupies the time of the Communists in most Humanities Departments--is avoidance.  Or, to use a term I just learned, displacement, which is where you know you should be doing one thing, but instead do another.

We know that black babies are being born daily to teenage mothers and that the fathers are not in a position to, or willing to, take care of those babies, to father them, to nurture them, to provide for them what they need, and that this failure is going to create an enormous emotional strain on the mother, who will be even less emotionally available for that child, who in turn will eventually act out in socially dysfunctional ways, creating yet another generation of failure, but we TALK about the Confederate Flag.  We talk about "racism", as if this kids emotional well-being was not at risk from the start, as if the entire social world he was born into was not more or less geared to fill him with fear, self loathing, anger, and violence.

I seem to be touching some angry energies.  Good: anger has a place too.  I own it.  I admit it.  I am capable of anger.  I am capable of a great deal more, too.

It's Clobberin' Time

Read the comments on this article, which is plainly propagandistic in its intent:

I only read about the first 30, but they told me clearly that Trump can win the nomination, and likely the general election.  Both Democrats and Republicans are forced in every election to vote for someone we don't really believe in.  A lot of people believed in Obama, but all but the most stupid have long since realized he meant very little of what he promised, that he is a cynic, and that he cooperates with the power elite just like Republicans do.

And I say again that the working class white vote--for that matter, the working class Hispanic vote, the "Mexicans" who don't speak Spanish and never have, who have been here for generations, as well as the working class black vote--is up for grabs.  Democrats assume that people should buy their propaganda, and not look out for their own interests, which they know better than anyone.

And, again, Hispanics are not stupid.  It is my ideological opponents, the Jorge Ramoses of the world who think they are.  They KNOW that the whole nation of Mexico can't come up here while preserving what is good about this country.

If you give them a nation, what do they do with it?  They create Mexico.  This is tautological.  And do THEY want Mexico?  Fuck, no: otherwise, why come here?

Motherless love

I think this might be seen as a synonym for addiction.

More truth speaking

Black people know that their culture, by and large, is fucked up in this country.

Mexicans know it is unreasonable to ask us to take everyone who wants to come over here and provide them numerous public services for free.

What is lacking is the courage to point this out.  When you respond to the unreasonable with cowardice, you empower it.

Thursday, August 27, 2015


If you can get them to admit it, I suspect 8 out of 10 white people would say that as the proportion of blacks in a neighborhood increases, so too do all the petty annoyances that go with it, including loud music, increased crime, litter in the streets, poor property maintenance, and simple lack of respect for other people on the street.

I tell my kid there is no group "black people", but I do tell them there are TYPES of black people, and a certain type EVERYONE, white and black, says oh shit I wish they didn't just move in there.  You know your walls and windows are going to vibrate every time they start up their cars.  You know you are going to smell weed in the air, and that especially on weekends they are going to be standing out in the street making noise until at least 1 or 2 in the morning.  You fear that sooner or later you will hear gunshots.

Now, the bulk of white people have solved this problem by white flight, by moving to places where black people don't go. Many of these people are self identified "liberals" who nonetheless would not under any circumstances live in a ghetto.

And you know there is no historical connection between a ghetto and poverty.  The term ghetto, if memory serves, was first used in Italy to describe a strong concentration of Jews.

It means poverty in this country simply because it is mainly--certainly not exclusively, since the various Chinatowns are ghettos too--blacks who wind up in homogeneous neighborhoods, and most of them are poor.

I see these kids--and I live in a very mixed neighborhood--and I KNOW that their homes are fucked up.  I KNOW they are acting out and playing the fool, and don't give a shit if they wind up in juvie or jail again, because they don't RESPECT themselves. Nobody ever loved them.  Nobody ever made them feel special.  Their mother was a child herself, and their father--himself the son of an absentee father--skipped town the moment he heard she was knocked up.

And so it goes.  Nobody speaks these truths, because nobody REALLY cares.  The Left doesn't care.  Their whole system is oriented around generating feelings of self importance, moral superiority, and very concrete financial benefits.  How many of us would not love to get the speaking fees Hillary and Bill command?  Neither has done anything outside of politics.

The backdrop to all this is I just nearly got in a fight with three black teenagers, because they were smoking weed more or less at my front door, and I told them to stop.  They lied about it--as if you can conceal the smell of marijuana--and I told them not to lie to me.  They didn't like that.  One told me to "watch my mouth".

The thing about me is I have a scary temper.  I may or may not have admitted it here, but the flip side of terror is rage.  I only fully lose my temper about once every 3-4 years, but it is like a hurricane.  There is nothing, I am convinced, I am not capable of in the throes--in the control, the thralldom, of rage.

So I am going to move where there are no black people, or few.  There have been some here for some time who were quite congenial.  As I tell my kids: those people are not the problem.  They are just like you and me in every important respect.

But you know what?  I am speaking a truth, here, which has been spoken quietly in kitchens around this country--and no doubt in France, and Germany, and England and elsewhere--for some time.  You can call me racist, but I derive my opinions from experience.  Is the problem that I draw rational conclusions from accurate data, or that the data reflects a severely dysfunctional culture?

You cannot look at the statistics on black culture--or for that matter spend a significant period of time downtown nearly anywhere--and fail to conclude that there is a lot of violence, most of it directed against other blacks, but still by spillover likely more than whites direct against whites.

Can we perhaps coin the term Tacit Political Correctness, which does not accept the non-truths which the Thought Police attempt to force on us, but which also does not speak out against them?  They simply move to a neighborhood with half acre lots, and the rest takes care of itself.

In Europe, most of the "blacks" are Muslims.  I can just picture 14 year old Swedish girls saying "Mommy, those people make me uncomfortable", and "Mommy"--who is an emotionally detached ideologue--saying,
"they are just different than us, make them feel welcome."  When she gets gang raped at 17, "Mommy" wonders how these people can be reformed, how their "fundamental Goodness" can be made to shine.  She will never answer honestly: by rejecting the horrific demonism of Islam.  She will make excuses.  And her child will realize she is alone, that her mother does not actually love her.  And another excited youthful heart will grow cold.  And hard.

You know, I think all decent people of all cultures have a good, innate, idea of the differences between right and wrong.  I think historically many Islamic-based societies have found ways to reconcile Islam with their abhorrence of rape, or pedophilia, or the murder of innocents.

What I also think, though, is that the nihilism of the modern era often intersects with the worst impulses of various groups, resulting, in the case of Islam, to a recidivism back to the 7th Century.

Oh, we can all get along.  But it is reasonable to ask that people obey certain rules, hew to certain principles.  That they respect both themselves and others, and that they teach their children respect.  That they work honestly, and toil with diligence.  That they dream of better days, and work to make them happen.  That they value love and compassion and courage, and inculcate these values in their children.

As things stand today, most white kids are taught little, and most black kids are taught NOTHING; nothing but violence, anger, and a deep, deep sadness they cannot name or do away with.

If you picture a young man, filled with a sense of shame, anger, depression, anxiety, remorse, and defensiveness, does it matter what race he is before you conclude that he will act out, and that his actions will tend to be less than successful?

Gabor Mate

This is a nice video on addiction:

At root, it is a sense of disconnection from self and others, and as he points out, our culture is founded, economically and psychologically, on emotional dissociation, on methods of distraction.

Spiritual Growth

It feels to me like an important part of spiritual growth is learning to accept and process ALL emotions.  As I continue my Kum Nye practice, I see that there is an other side to despair, and to loneliness, and to desolation and horror.  I see that to be useful, I need to be on speaking terms with all possible emotions.

You have to know yourself, what you are capable of, what might come out of you.  All of us can feel, potentially, all the "shadow" emotions, and it is not enough to simply make contact with them.  You have to learn to manage them, to master them, like training wild beasts.

And you don't do this violently.  This is a major mistake emotionally unintelligent people and systems make.  You do not get angry at anger.  You expand it, and then trace it back to its roots, in feelings of helplessness and fear.  You understand that you are in part a biological organism, and that that organism has needs which you cannot avoid, even if you can learn to meet them in non-traditional ways.

And I ponder, how do you put a value on something like Kum Nye, which can give you EVERYTHING and MORE than you could get from the most successful career?  That can make you more free than the richest billionaire with his beautiful women and expensive toys, and absolute freedom of action?  He can go anywhere, do anything.  But until he changes who he is--or rather, until he makes contact with his inner recesses, and learns to see in new ways--nothing really changes that matters at all.

I likely spend too much time introspecting.  I should be out drumming up new business.  My bank account is not what it could be.  But at the same time, these processes are so intriguing, so interesting, so satisfying, even when hard, that I have been tending to get driven by necessity rather than planning properly.

I make things work.  I always have.  It takes some ingenuity sometimes, some audacity sometimes, but I have plenty of both.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Political Correctness

I was reading what Big Sister has done in California.  I would not have thought it possible, but this is perhaps even more abusive that what she put in place at the TSA:

Surprisingly enough, this list of taboo microaggressions included many common questions and phrases seemingly devoid of any ill intent. One of the banned, supposedly offensive phrases is “America is a land of opportunity.” According to Napolitano and her politically correct cohorts, such a phrase is a form of coded, covert racism that creates a toxic campus culture.Other phrases university faculty were banned from saying include “America is a melting pot,” “I believe the most qualified person should get the job,” and “There is only one race, the human race.” Another banned phrase was “When I look at you, I don’t see color.” Colorblind professors everywhere began quivering in fear.Faculty were also banned from asking students basic small talk questions, such as “Where are you from?” and “Where were you born?” These questions can be construed as racist. According to Napolitano, banning these microaggressions from California’s universities was part of an initiative to “improve campus climate.”

What you need to see here is what happens when no actual moralities are in play, when nobody truly believes ANYTHING. A morality is a reason to live.  It is a means of transforming the pains of life into meaning.

But if you reject in principle the idea that life always includes pain and difficulty, you have no reason for a morality.  Not having a reason for a morality, you instead live a life of avoidance, of evading truth, of denouncing the very idea of truth, precisely because your world view is counterfactual.  It is wrong.

This is the root of what I term Sybaritic Leftism, which I contrast with true Liberalism, which is a means of multiple moralities coexisting in peace.  And the vacuousness of this form of Leftism leads inexorably to Cultural Sadeism.  It cannot resist it.  It starts out nice and playful, and becomes cold and cruel.

All the ex-hippies teaching at the University of California cut their teeth on opposing "the System".  Now they ARE the system, and they are showing they have no ideas, nothing original to live for, nothing to add, nothing interesting to say.

This is always the case.  Communism--and these people are spouting Communist propaganda, using Communist methods of analysis, and proposing Communistic solutions--never adds anything any life.  What joy has Fidel Castro brought Cuba?  What joy did Mao bring China?  They brought death, fear, famine, and the collapse of all the soft traits, like trust and openness, which alone make life worth living.

Communism is the death of human beauty, and it is what is being preached in our best universities.

And we need to be clear that these kids are being conditioned to live in little boxes, to suppress all authenticity, to conform their views to what they are taught and not the evidence of their own eyes.  They are being talk to accept propaganda willingly, and to obey their elders, no matter how crazy they are.

So we really have to look at two forms of conditioning.  First, the actual ideas of Communism are being taught, which reject all moralities in favor of conformity to an arbitrary dictator, and the modes of being of Communism are being taught, which are fear and bullying.

And in the process moral reasoning is lost entirely.  On one day they decry rape.  On the next, they decry "Islamophobia" despite the fact that Islam allows and even encourages both the rape and murder of unbelievers.  And they can't denounce ISIS, because that is a thought crime, despite the fact that most of their crimes are being committed against people who are ALSO Muslims.

As I have said often, Leftism is emotionally cartoonish.  It thinks in simplistic ideas of good and bad, and has no ability to differentiate among the "others" it allegedly wants to protect.  Who do you think most of the illegal aliens in America who are criminals criminalize?  Other illegals, and fellow Mexicans.  Almost all crimes are committed within groups.  You know who would be helped if these people were deported?  Mexicans living in the US.

I can only watch and hope that the sheer excesses of these anti-moral zealots will bring about a backlash.  We are already seeing it in Donald Trump, who I think will most likely be the Republican nominee.  And I think he will get bipartisan support, because Americans KNOW that we have many problems nobody has the balls to fix.

Actual Audacity

I'm telling my old friend alcohol again that we need to spend some time apart.  It has been a profoundly useful emotional anesthetic for many years.  And I am contemplating again living without it.

My dream is to help build another world, an actually better world, one which is peaceful, prosperous, and happy.  Given the sheer number of people who wish the other people on this planet rack and ruin, it is perhaps a foolish hope.  You can never know what is possible until you try, though.

But I am a student of history, and I cannot but watch in my mind all the great minds and spirits who failed to find a way forward, all the bodies I am stepping over.  Most of human history is a history of failure, is it not?  Have not wars and injustices and stupidities been our common lot for most of the recorded life of our race?

Has trauma not been an important fact of the lives of most people who have ever lived, and indeed who live even today? Obama was traumatized.  I have no doubt of it.

To think new thoughts, you have to step over bodies, you have to have a ridiculous sense of the possible, which necessarily means that you--I--think I am better able to express my intelligence usefully than they did.

And this thought makes me laugh.  It has aesthetic merit.  It has beauty in it, profound beauty.  And this comforts me.   And I need comforting.  We all do.  We all do.

Edit: do you get the feeling sometimes that no important cultural experiments have been done since the 1960's?  That we are stuck looking back, sorting through the rubble and wreckage?  That the major cultural changes have been a gradually tightening noose of conformism backed by the threats of social, political, and even physical violence?  That "love" is a marketing term, to be abused in the service of consumerism and quarterly results?

I remember the movie "My Dinner with Andre", and this felt sense that nothing new was going on.  No new ideas were being tried.  The revolutionary spirit was dead.  Everyone got ties, good jobs, mortgages, and life foreclosed on their dreams.

Obama, self evidently, was pushing focus group tested buzzwords when he spoke of Hope and Change.  He was touching deep needs that exist in this country at a fundamental level.  His appeal was obviously cynical, opportunistic, and abusive, but that does not mean that these words can no longer be used, that there are no causes for hope, that good change is not possible.

Hope.  Dare to hope.  Dare to dream of a better world, an actually better world.  We may just be able to pull it off.

Pyrrhus noted that the Romans died like men, facing their enemy.  There is no safety in this world, no absolute safety.  In fact, I guarantee Death will get you, like it gets everyone (the Singularity is bullshit).  What you can trust is your own resilience, and your own willingness to laugh in the face of everything, to make sport of this eternal game.

Flashback Time Machine

I was going through some old posts, and saw this one from 4 years ago.  Remains quite true.

Bit slow today, checking some things off lists. The entirety of Peter Bauer's "Equality, the Third World and Economic Delusion" is quite wonderful, and well worth the read. As I argue constantly, to fail to consider the consequences of actions you conceive to be well intentioned, is to not be well intentioned at all, but self important and narcissistic, if not outright power mongering. YOU MUST CARE ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES, to all people, and over time.

Here are a couple quotes from the concluding chapter of a book in which he has ably demonstrated that foreign aid frequently does little but support income inequalities, autocracy, and continued generalized poverty, all claims that fly in the face of "conventional" wisdom, then (1981) and now.

what explains the curious situation of contemporary economics, especially the acceptance of evidently insubstantial, even bizarre, notions?

The expansion of the subject since the Second World War and the circumstances surrounding it must be considered together. Unlike the expansion in the natural sciences in recent decades, especially in physics and chemistry, the expansion in economics (and other forms of social study) was not an instance of the growth of knowledge leading to a quantum jump in the number of people and money attracted. The expansion resulted from the belief that economists could help significantly in solving social and political problems; and that their capacity to do so depended largely on their numbers and on the money at their disposal. . . But, as the term is usually understood, economic problems are different. Economic problems do not typically present themselves because of perceived gaps or inadequacies of knowledge. Rather economic problems are said to exist wherever there are differences between proclaimed norms and observed reality. Such problems evidently cannot be solved by improvements in knowledge alone. Indeed, as suggested in chapter 1 (and noted repeatedly elsewhere), economists and other social scientists generally create problems rather than solve them [emphasis mine].

In academic study unwarranted claims are apt to inhibit the advance of understanding. Attempts to justify unfounded claims, or to mask the failure to live up to them, encourage the proponents of such claims to shift their ground. For example, when certain policies widely canvassed by development economists as necessary for raising living standards, such as large-scale public investment, domestic production of capital goods, or the collectivization of agriculture, fail to bring about the expected results, the policies themselves come to be regarded as the very stuff of progress rather than as what they are, unsuccessful instruments for its promotion.

"When certain policies widely canvassed by development economists as necessary for raising living standards. . . fail to bring about the expected results, the policies themselves come to be regarded as the very stuff of progress rather than as what they are, unsuccessful instruments for its promotion."

Can there be a shorter summary of what is wrong with the leftist mindset, which does the same things over and over and over, always getting the same result--failure--and yet which fails to learn the lesson? As Bauer says, economics is not actually complicated. It is made complicated by people whose jobs depend on a lack of transparency.

Consider in that regard this quote he excerpts from a Professor Leontief.

Continued preoccupation with imaginary, hypothetical, rather than observable reality has gradually led to a distortion of the informal valuation scale used in our academic community to access and to rank the scientific performance of its members. Empirical analysis, according to this scale, gets a lower rating than formal mathematical reasoning. Devising a new statistical procedure, however tenuous, that makes it possible to squeeze out one more unknown parameter from a given set of data, is judged a greater scientific achievement that the successful search for additional information that would permit us to measure the magnitude of the same parameter in a less ingenious, but more reliable way. . . a natural Darwinian feedback operating through selection of academic personnel contributes greatly to the perpetuation of this state of affairs. Thus, it is not surprising that the younger economists, particularly those engaged in teaching and academic research, seem by now quite content with situations in which they can demonstrate their prowess (and incidentally, advance their careers) by building more and more complicated mathematical models and devising more and more sophisticated methods of statistical inference without ever engaging in empirical research.

This is how smart people become stupid: they makes things so complicated that the forest is lost for the trees. This is exactly the same dynamic in play with Global Warming. Rather than planting thermometers all over the poles, which is where the warming is supposedly happening, they develop statistical algorithms to in effect guess what the temperatures "must" be, based upon the sensors they have hundreds of miles to the south. This is not science. Statistics can NEVER substitute for measurements, when measurements are possible.

As I have said often, you can "prove" anything, if you start from the right premises. Garbage in, garbage out.

Christianity created Satanism

I was walking my dog this morning, on a very pleasant day, and it hit me how evil Christianity is, or rather how evil the description of the Christian God is.

We are supposed to start our lives in shame, feeling guilty for something we did not do.  And it hit me that shame begets a need for justification, for aggressive action, for do-gooding, which is necessarily compulsive, and as prone to harm as help.

Without understanding fully all the creeds which adopt this name for themselves, it seems to me that Satanists, by and large, intend to reject this shame, this abhorrence of life and freedom.

And as parents would we ever contemplate throwing our children into the pits of hell if they failed to obey us exactly?  Would we threaten them with this?  Could we even contemplate this?  No: we assume goodness on their part, and do our best to love them, to cherish them, to teach them, and to help them if they fall off the path.  We never abandon them.

And who can accept a God who needs the ritual murder of animals, much less human beings?  Who can accept a God who requires a sacrifice of his son to satisfy his irrational rage at people who are by and large doing the best they can?

The key addition of Christianity is the concept of eternal damnation.  The Jews of course had the idea of Original Sin, but they had a system for managing the rages of their God, through sacrifice and piety.  They thought little about the next world.  They were like the Romans and Greeks in this.

Further, if God were as the Christians describe, would we only see his appointed representative once in the lifetime of humanity, in an insignificant part of the world, and would he only teach for something like 3 years?  If you were a parent, and you wanted to teach your children, would you not give them regular or even constant, direct, instruction?

Deconstructing Christianity is not that hard, but it is necessary for me, for my own healing.  I was raised as a Christian, taught John 3:16 and other similar verses, sang the hymns in church, was baptized, was taught to fear the Devil.

We need something like religion.  We need worship.  We need communion.  We need a place for the holy in our lives, for the sacred.  We need a concept of the Divine, of eternal life, of spiritual growth.  Foolish people see our choices as belief and disbelief.  I am no atheist, not even remotely.  I am, I think I can say honestly. a visionary.  I see visions.  I feel new realities.  I dream what has not been, but may yet be.

This is a hopeful post, one I intend to be filled with light.  What we leave behind is darkness when we accept something brighter.

Ashley Madison;_ylt=AwrT6V0PzN1VZ1wA4_YPxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTByb2lvbXVuBGNvbG8DZ3ExBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzcg

I don't have any particularly incisive commentary.  I just thought this was interesting.  Do most of us not feel alone, even with those we are supposed to love?  Doesn't the grass always seem greener on the other side, and does it not prove disappointing in the end?

Think about it: who are the women who want to cheat, or make love to cheaters?  Are they sensitive, genuinely caring, emotionally intelligent people who satisfy the real needs men have to feel understood, appreciated, and respected?  I very much doubt it.  They can play the part for a time, but they want something.

Fucking, in my not inconsiderable experience, is almost always disappointing.  There is unquestionably an ego boost--a hit--in seducing a woman--it makes you feel manly--but the very mindset required for it separates you. In terms of what sex can provide emotionally, I think women in this--as in most everything else--are most right.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Sacrifice, and Plus ca change

I remain, in Gibbon, in the period of the reign of Julian--who interestingly, among other things, tried to rebuild the Temple of the Jews--and he related casually that it was not at all uncommon for him to sacrifice 100 oxen, which sounds astonishing until you compare it to what the Bible relates concerning Solomon: 

And Solomon offered for the sacrifice of peace-offerings, which he offered unto Jehovah, two and twenty thousand oxen, and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep. So the king and all the children of Israel dedicated the house of Jehovah. 1 Kings 8:63
Ponder that.  Ponder how, if it is even logistically possible--and it surely is, over some time horizon--what that carnage would look like. Ponder what a mere 100 oxen would look like.  And I don't know how they were killed.  A relatively large weapon would seemingly be necessary.

There is a great mystery in all this.  My working hypothesis continues to be that it is a means of appeasing our own predator, animal instincts, which was necessary before the principles of inner growth were developed.

Plus Ca Change: The Christians tore down the ancient temples of the Romans.  And they built their own churches on top.  Who else do you know who does that?

If you look at the history--ONLY the history--Christianity is not so very different from Islam.  They venerated martyrs, demanded absolute submission to their creed, and fought aggressive wars in support of their faith.


I was reading the back story on Fritz Lang's M, and found this curious: "Lang considered M to be his favorite of his own films because of the social criticism in the film. In 1937, he told a reporter that he made the film "to warn mothers about neglecting children"."

Further: M has been said, by various critics and reviewers,[17] to be based on serial killer Peter Kürten—the "Vampire of Düsseldorf"—whose crimes took place in the 1920s.[18] Lang denied that he drew from this case in an interview in 1963 with film historian Gero Gandert; "At the time I decided to use the subject matter of M there were many serial killers terrorizing Germany—HaarmannGrossmannKürtenDenke, [...]"

As should be obvious, I cast my perceptual net far and wide.  Within my lifetime, we have evolved from a nation of "free range" children--which is to say largely care free parents and care free children--to one in which parents risk having their children taken from them if they let them walk a few blocks to the park before a certain age.

How important to emotional development is freedom in early childhood?  One can scarcely wonder if, on one pole of this equation, Muslim women find it very hard to develop emotionally and particularly to build a sense of self which alone would make them capable of raising emotionally intelligent children; and on the other hand, it seems the tribal lives of say, American Indians in the pre-imperial period, might be optimally conducive to growth.

If you are faced with large fear from an early age, what effect does this have?  Does not fear bring with it an increased need for security, and is that not precisely what government promises?

It is an extraordinarily tenuous hypothesis, but I wonder if the spate of very prolific, very public serial killers in the 1920's in Germany helped the Nazi rise to power.  Conversely, I suppose one could wonder if the prevalence of such crimes indicated a national illness which eventually manifested in the Nazis.

I'm just spouting here.  It's what I do.  This whole post may be utter nonsense, but I have often found nonsense leads to better ideas which actually have value.  Exploration is always potentially useful.

Little shit

We Americans love to brag about our freedoms, but we have a shitload of petty regulations and bureaucratic procedures they don't have in other countries.

Take the FDA.  They block all sorts of things that are quite legal in other countries. I was trying to get some kind of weight loss supplement that apparently actually works, and they sell it in Canada, but not here, because some jackasses abused it.  You can abuse COFFEE if you are determined.

For that matter, they DON'T block things like genetically modified foods that are at least labeled in other countries.  And for God's sake, our government continues to subsidize the manufacture of high fructose corn syrup, which has NEGATIVE nutritional value.  Who helps put cheap cokes in the hands of the poor?  Uncle Sam, that's who.

Take ordering contacts on-line.  If my prescription hasn't changed in 25 years, who is hurt if I go three or four years without an exam?  The eye doctors.  They lose money.  They no doubt argued "safety" and in this country if you say fucking safety all the soccer moms circle their wagons, and the soccer dads say "are you sure it is safe now?"  You can smell the fear.

Fuck safety.  Life is either an adventure, or it is a niggling little prance in a small circle with boring people who do nothing, learn nothing, and are not overly missed when they leave this world because they didn't really contribute anything.

Americans, particularly, are obsessed with safety.  I don't know why. Perhaps it is our litigiousness.

Edit: tetanus shots.  That was another thing.  There are only about 30 cases of tetanus contracted a year in America, mostly in the pork industry.  The tetanus bacteria live in soil contaminated with fecal matter, which is to say virtually nothing in a city or the suburbs is even remotely likely to have it on it.

I tried to research how many people die from reactions related to vaccinations each year, but Google, Bing and Yahoo don't want to tell me.

This is another thing: we think we have access through search engines to everything we need to know.  Google for sure, and likely the others, are quite capable of tweaking the searches any way they want, and whatever they want hidden, will not be found except by profound persistence.

Edit: thank god for Alex Jones.  Google plus Alex Jones got me this:

Point 1: there is no reliable reporting system for vaccinations, so no one can claim it is safe using sound empirical evidence.  Doctors are at their own discretion to report reactions, and they can expect to be sued if they are found culpable.  No one--NO ONE--can base their opinions on responsibly gathered statistics.

Point 2: the same professionals we are supposed to literally trust with our lives disappoint about a quarter of a million people EVERY YEAR.  People die due to fuck-ups.

Monday, August 24, 2015


If your sense of self depends on serving others, then your sense of self is connected to, and ultimately conflated with, others.  This in turn likely means that they are connected to you.  You lean on one another.

This is why you should watch children struggle with things for a long time, and why you should not feel bad when difficulties enter the lives of complacent people. Or your life, for that matter.

Trouble is wind for wings that are ready for it.  Let's call that a bon mot.


I was laying in bed this morning, petting my dog, and it occurred to me that true worship consists in offering love and connection to the universe, or perhaps in receiving what was already there.  When you are participating in love and laughter and useful labor, when your consciousness is entirely filled with the focus needed to accomplish some worthy task, that is worship.

I was listening to Gibbon talk about the Emperor Julian, how he had many altars and that he made animal sacrifices on them every morning and evening.  Picture yourself doing that. Picture someone handing you a live chicken, you ritually offering it to that God--let us say Jupiter--then ritually slitting its throat, or cutting its head off.  Then you offer the dead animal again.  And you do this twice a day.

It seems to me it would pacify the violence and bloodlust which always exist as possibilities for all of us. It seems to me much of the violence on television, and in movies and in video games exists to feed this primitive, primal part of us, which never gets to break peoples jaws, or shoot anyone, scream at the top of its lungs, or even OFFEND anyone.  My god, can you imagine anything more productive of rage, of Donald Trump, than making everyone keep their mouth shut about nearly everything?  Those emotions, that need to assert self, and to be heard, do not disappear.

But this blood also becomes something you NEED, something you feed on.  The spirit is that of a vampire.

No, wherever Goodness is, that is true worship.  That is what I feel.

And I will repeat the point I made in my Grand Inquisitor piece, that Christ did not intend to be taken literally, to have ritual cannibalism enacted in his honor.  Wherever wine is, love is, and there he is.  Wherever bread is, where communion is, there he is.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Good Article on "Global Warming"

We live in an era in which the stupid people vote for Obama, and even most of the smart people still believe in global warming.  To even approach reason and truth you have to be willing to be castigated as an ideological dissident.  How did we get to this place in a free society?  How did we allow it?  


It occurs to me that in raising emotionally intelligent children--which is to say, within my world view, the capacity for authentic Goodness--it is very important to allow them to name and express negative emotions.  You need to allow them to say things like "I am feeling very angry right now, and I don't know why.  Maybe I'm hungry, but I think I also need some space."

I think for most of history parents believed that if they created children who did what they told them to do, and acted as they were taught, that they had succeeded.  But history is a succession of violent scenes, scenes of grief, rapine, greed, vanity, and internecine violence (I would argue ALL violence is ultimately internecine), is it not?

Logically, if shame is the outcome of trauma, then a shame based society is a trauma based society.  You beat obedience into your kids, do you not?

New Emotions

It occurs to me to add as well that I experience "new emotions" regularly in my practice.  Part of it is asking for them, but much of it is simply avoiding labeling what comes up.

And if you think about it, if you do not like the feelings that occur daily for you, to change them you need new ones, more open ones, more empowering ones, and how could they not feel foreign at first?

There is metainformation in ANY new feeling, negative or positive: what it tells you is that something different is possible.  The sense of the possibility of change is necessary to ever consciously embrace change. And I think if it is not sought, some part of our unconscious snaps us back to the same spot regularly.  It brings us back to "who we are".


One of the consistent objectives of my Kum Nye practice is a sense of merging sensation with space, and I really am increasingly feeling a sense of expansion and diffusion.

Today, walking in the park on a very nice day, it hit me that what keeps us out of the present moment is past momentS.  We carry simultaneously many moments, moments of terror, of joy, of loss, of gain.

If you think about it, you can likely quickly access many life-changing or defining moments.  The moment your parents told you they were getting divorced.  Many moments hearing them arguing, but maybe one moment you really don't remember until you focus on it, when you started shutting down emotionally.

Perhaps you had something wonderful happen, and you said to yourself "I will never be happier than this", and your unconscious heard that, and took it seriously.

If you are a soldier, you may remember when you heard you were going to be deployed.  Or redeployed.  Or reredeployed.  You may have PTSD, and many, or certain, moments burned into your consciousness.  I suspect your healing will begin with the realization that there are other moments like that in you too, which are simply not as intense.  They passed away, and so too can these memories, even if it doesn't feel that way.

Emotionally, we are aggregates of many moments of heightened sense, heightened emotion, heightened connection, for better or worse.

And I felt this surge of energy and thought that it is time for all my moments to begin to open their doors to one another, to open up a general connection of feeling and emotion, and it felt clear to me that that is how you learn to live in the present, actually.

When you are living in the moment, you don't know it.  You can't will it, because in the act of observing it, you leave it.  I think there are people who talk about "the moment" who sit there thinking: "here I am, living in moment.  Fuck I'm awesome."

Conscious presence is an emergent property of a well organized nervous system and psyche.  It is then, in other words, an emergent property of emotional health, which makes psychological work--or let us say, more broadly, energetic release work--the path to it.

Kum Nye literally means to massage your subtle being, your intermediate part between your body and space itself.  It is built for this sort of thing.

The Yen

I was reading it is common in Japan for people to work 100 weeks.  Then I seemed to recall they have been trying Keynesian economics for quite some time--decades--then reasoned that they have likely inflated the currency.  I look it up, and sure enough, the dollar bought 85 yen about 5 years ago, and now it buys nearly 125.

Here is a summary:
The USDJPY traded at 122.26 JPY on Friday August 21, according to interbank foreign exchange market quotes. The Japanese Yen averaged 154.56 from 1972 until 2015, reaching an all time high of 306.84 in December of 1975 and a record low of 75.74 in October of 2011.
One of the first things modern "economists" tell developing economies to do is deflate their currency so that they can export more.  That makes their stuff more cheap for other countries, but also more expensive FOR THEM.  And the money comes from somewhere, does it not?  It doesn't grow on trees.

It comes from banks, normally from central banks, but also possibly from the government, depending on how things are set up; and from the fractional reserve banking system.

When you see Keynesian economics, you see this same dynamic, this same desire to pump money "into the economy", so that even though Japan was developed, it likely acted as if it weren't.  And when you see all this what you also need to see is a power elite making fortunes, by stepping on the necks of ordinary working men and women.  The same thing is happening here, just to a lesser extent than there.

I read the Japanese even have a word for "death from overwork".  It need not be that way, given sane economic policies.

Some day someone will listen to me.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

The Vapors

I think we need to bring this concept back to describe people overwhelmed by the presence of dissension and even criticism.  You get the sense that if you told them to go fuck themselves they would evaporate outright, and all that would be left is a cold foggy cloud.  At a minimum, they would wet and crap themselves and need sedation and several weeks to recover.

What nation can endure like that, in a world still containing many Morlocks, many cannibals from the deep?