Saturday, December 31, 2016

Obama and the gift that keeps on giving

Given that Hillary's poll numbers were manifestly cooked, why couldn't Obama's approval numbers be likewise cooked, for example by oversampling in large cities?  I read in his 8 years Democrats have lost over 1,000 seats, net, across the country, including those in Congress.  Remember that when he was first elected in 2008 Democrats held both houses of Congress.

He has been nothing short of a disaster, but the Democrats can't let go of him, and the left wing utopian dreams of control and power and oppression that he represents to them.  Keith Ellison would be disastrous as the next DNC chair, but that seems to be the direction they are going.

Ideologues are inflexible in certain areas, and the thing is to awaken to reality, they would have to lose their left wing pipe dreams, and they just can't do that.  They can't admit they have been living for decades in a miasma of foggy thinking, factual misunderstandings, impudence, assumption, GroupThink, and continual failure (with respect, of course, to their claimed goals; in respect to getting power, their failures are quite recent, and record of success quite long).

So you have this spectacle of Obama being soundly rejected by voters in the election, and a Democrat Party that wants MORE, not less, of what was rejected.

We can only sit back and applaud.  Their options are waking up, or disappearing.  Both are good for the future of the United States and the world.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Egalitarianism again

At root, if I might use a bad combination of metaphors, the egalitarian impulse--and it is an EMOTIONAL impulse--is a pruning, not a fertilizing, a reducing, not a growing, a destruction not a creation.

As s vehicle for the expression of latent anger in the name of good it is perhaps unsurpassed. Manifestly it has utility across virtually all human cultures.

But we can always ask: what are you trying to build? If they answer " a more just society" we can ask: and how are you planning to enrich and fulfill the inner worlds of each individual in that society, such that life becomes a blessing beyond mere things and small comforts?

They have no answer to this question, if they are honest. It is not a human world they seek to build, but a mechanical one.


I would like to create a continuum with. Egalitarianism on one side, and on the opposite the notion of Individual Moral Progress.

Inherent in the former is the assertion that all people are equal. Within the latter is the OBSERVATION that people are NOT equal, that in fact diversity with regard to emotional well being, intellectual capacity, motivation, erudition, etc., is the RULE, and that all coherent thinking about people necessarily views them as individuals, and that no greater barrier to clear--which is say PRACTICAL--thinking could be imagined than the necessity of viewing group membership in lieu of personal characteristics.

What led to this pattern of thought was a series of severely politically incorrect thoughts. I was waiting to get beeped into a building and a young black woman comes by and says EXCUSE ME in the impatient way which we have all seen in black women with attitude. You're not supposed to say this, but most people who have worked a lot with black folks know what I mean.

Then an older black woman comes along, who looked very sweet, but her path was in a collision course with mine, and only at the last minute did it occur to her it was not possible for me to get more out of her way. And I thought: that is the emotionally rigid pattern of someone who doesn't want to be here, and who likely has some grief in her past.

Then I recalled that I have heard anecdotally from various black folks I've talked to over the years that rates  of child sexual abuse seem to be much higher in the black community. Rates of rape, in my understanding, certainly are.

Then I wondered--given how difficult life is in much of Africa, I wonder if the sexual instincts in blacks became a bit stronger as compensation evolutionarily. Then of course I self censored: the HORROR, you can't think that. All people are equal, period.

Then I thought: what SCIENTIFIC basis do we have for assuming this? Is the NBA 80 or 90% black because white people just don't want to make millions of dollars a year doing easy and fun work?

Egalitarianism has no way forward, truly, except to make all equal in misery. The doctrine of Individual Moral Progress can speak truth, because it offers a way out. EVEN IF disparities of talent and motivation exist today, they can be overcome. No matter who you are or what your experience you can choose s path of personal betterment, which helps not just society but your race.

Is it not much more interesting to make statements about what people are capable of than who they "are"? If you are assigned a slot, you become that slot. But if you are given a possibility, you GROW to fulfill it.

The Egalitarian philosophy is inherently one of confinement and violence, and diminishes inherently all it touches.

I will add as a perhaps needed end note that it amazing, truly amazing, that white kids, raised in white suburbs, and educated at largely white schools, think that they both can and should speak to what black peoples need, and that what they need MOST OF ALL is speech codes on white college campuses.

This is farcical and delusional. It not only does no concrete good, it stands in the way of the open and probing discussions which would make actual solutions to the problems of unemployment, crime, and hopelessness possible.

The Obama Quandary

There can be little serious doubt that Obama--and handler Valerie Jarrett, who should not be left out of these narratives--broke the law continually and shamelessly for substantislly his entire time in office. The list is necessarily truncate because my memory and time are limited, but ponder Fast and Furious, the corruption of the IRS for nakedly political purposes, the illegal war in Libya, the illegal transfer of arms and provision of training to jihadists in Syria, the release of 5 senior Taliban commanders in exchange for deserter Bo Bergdahl (which violated a law HE signed), the corruption of the FBI by James Comey, and others I am forgetting. In a country ruled by LAW our current President should have been impeached and removed from office and criminally prosecuted and jailed long ago.

But we do not live in a country ruled by law, do we? Class and connections get some of us much better deals.

It does seem obvious though, that the egregiousness of Obamas crimes indicate the PLAN was a continuity of power from one criminal regime to another, and crooks cover for each other.

The problem with Obama pardoning the Clintons (Bill, Hillary, and likely Chelsea and her husband) is that he himself has done things that could and should get him arrested--not political crimes, to be clear, but crimes which undermined Ametican safety and security, got thousands of innocent people killed, and which were committed solely out if selfish personal interest.

Now, in an ordinary, sane world, Trump would have to weigh the risk of alienating a large segment of the electorate if he chose to prosecute their Messiah and his trplacement, but I would argue the profoundly violent and infantile response of the Headless Ones actually creates an OPPORTUNITY. Here is the thing: with that much hate, there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, he can do to win them back,, they are gone and will stay gone. They are dead to him politically.

But the people who put him in office want to see some respectability restored to our government, some possibility of trust returned. They want the IRS and DHS, and FBI, and ICE (another scandal), and CIA, and EPA (another scandal), etc., PURGED of all the people who committed crimes for political purposes under Obama.

And they will be HAPPY to see at least Hillary prosecuted, and most of us would feel a whole lot better about the integrity of our government if Obsma and Jarrett were prosecuted too. I think that would be a no lose proposition for Trump. There is no point triangulating with lunatics who hate you. Double down with the people who love you.

I think some of this calculus shows in the desperate and ludicrous things Obama is doing, like expelling Russian diplomats based on charges even he knows are cooked up. He knows this is stupid and wrong. But I think the full gravity of the possible blowback resulting from his wholesale assault on our institutions and the values they represent is still sinking in. He has been in denial. This was not  the game plan. This is not how it was supposed to work.

And at the end of the day, his intelligence has always been vastly inferior to that claimed for him.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Election propaganda

It is ironic that the sundry anti-Trump propagandas, which were intended to sway conservatives and moderates, seem to only have had effect on the precalculated political integers, whose loyalty was already absolute. But this effect exacerbated prodigiously the perceptual gap between the hard Left and most of America. There exist two radically different world views, which are equally radically incompatible.

What point is there in engaging in dialogue with someone who is a white supremacist, or, on the other hand, with anyone stupid enough to believe such lies?

Cultural divide? 100% the fault of the Left and its organs.


The first question any futurist should ask is: is individual moral progress possible? Implicitly, most of those I have read answer in the negative. They believe in technological progress and social progress--which is understood as the perfection of the social machine, as understood with an engineering spirit and mindset--but not a society of saints.

Star Trek implicitly asked us to choose between reason and emotion. Why? There is no conflict. The logics of the heart are as susceptible to progress as the best maths.


It occurred to me this morning that the way trauma is stored in the body, you could literally get knocked on the head, forget your own name, and still have these fucking memories.  This is one of the interesting things about the Wolverine character: he heals instantly from physical wounds, but he carries emotional baggage from things he can't remember.

And what has been appearing for moments in past days is the feeling of being tortured.  It is an overwhelming feeling.  God has been merciful in creating the possibility of dissociation.  Dissociation is like becoming a seed with a hard shell, that can be blown from here to there, survive different climates, bouncing around, and stay intact for a very long time, with latent life within it, waiting for the moment to sprout.

And torture gets embedded on your nervous system not because of the physical pain, necessarily, but rather the realization that some other human being is CAPABLE of doing that to you.

In my own case, it is simply, I think, a feeling as a small child that I was both helpless and going to die.  Feel that ONCE, and the switch flips.  You might stop crying, you might seem calm, but it is because you went through a phase transition.  Your sense of self was radically altered in a moment, your capacities diminished.  You can deal after that.  It is like a permanent emotional anesthetic, but one which dulls the positive feelings as well, the sense of human contact and community, the sense of agency, of control, of a connection to the future of any sort.

I would stipulate as a general rule that anything you can feel, you can process.  In my own case, it will be letting that feeling through in small, small doses.  I already feel better.  I already seem to be working better. I can see what has always been there in the shadows, pushing me first this way, then that way, always in circles, always running and hiding, or fighting and raging.

And I look at who I used to be with some compassion.  I look at foolish things I've done, and they make more sense to me now. I see that I just didn't know what to do, and there was no way I could.  I was never taught either what to do, or how to figure it out.  I have figured all this out on my own, with great difficulty, and over a long period of time.

And I do feel at times what would now be called an epigenetic component to all this, which I think the Buddhists, a bit more accurately, would call the karmic component.  I feel my mothers distress and unresolved emotions.  They were passed down to me, in her genes, but also in her spirit, and in her behavior towards me.  The children do inherit the sins of the parents, rather, the terrors and sufferings they felt.

But through all this I feel coeur-age.  Heart.  If I was going to break, it would have happened long ago. I have both the habit of surviving, and the ability.

There is a point where even in a healthy person--perhaps especially in a healthy person--pain ceases to smart, and it becomes simply one more texture of experience, of intrinsic interest, a proper subject for curiosity.  This is the moment when real growth can begin.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016


You reach a point with Kum Nye where you can feel various sensations, but they have no names and no boxes.  They are literally indescribable and often transitory.

And it occurs to me if my guess that both trauma and habit interact in unhelpful ways to tie the same--usually unseen, unfelt, and unacknowledged--sensations to the same flashes of an image that goes much too fast to be processed, to feelings which are often felt, to thoughts which occupy anxious minds, who then try to only think, to only be logical, to make them go away, then recognizing the various strands and shades of sensation ought to work to disentangle automatic patterns.

You say you feel sad.  Are there not many variants of sadness, and is not remaining stuck in the same sadness not ignoring them?  Most emotions come, if you watch carefully, with latent ancestors, friends, and nascent children.  They travel in families, in packs, and although it can simplify the thinking process pretending them come alone and undiluted, this is not the case, in my experience.

To remain stuck you have to blind yourself to all the motion all around you.

It does seem to me that the whole idea of Impermanence in Buddhism is not just an objective description of the world, but a call to use change as an impetus to positive feelings.  If you never resist change, you can adapt. If you adapt, you can stay positive, happy, and connected to most things and most people, despite bobbing up and down in the continual tide that is this world.  You are not disconnecting from everything and everyone.  No, you are disconnecting from the IDEA--the thought--that you are safe as one person, one feeling, one time, and one place.  That is a terribly dangerous idea, one guaranteed to cause misery not just in the long run, but every single day.


You don't have to earn money you don't spend.

Self Loathing

It seems to me self hatred is really just a systemic sense of tension that cannot be easily resolved.

We are wired so that when we violate a social rule of some sort, we "punish" ourselves with a tension we call guilt or shame.  This flows naturally from the connection between our social brain, which allows meaningful connection to others, and very old instincts which protected us long ago.  Likewise, anyone who does not feel guilt can be assumed thereby to be separated from humanity in important and primitive ways.

Guilt might be the explanation and shame the reality.  Even animals feel shame.  We have all seen dogs express it.

Trauma in some respects is a primal expulsion.  It is being forced to detach from your social brain, and identify with feelings with exist in a much more primitive place.  There is a rough homology between this expulsion and the "guilt" or shame sense.  This manifests in many as self loathing.

This self loathing underlies, in my view, virtually all that is wrong with the human species.  I think tension leads to self loathing, which leads to rigidity, which leads to violence of all sorts.

Ponder the link between steps two and three.  If you hate yourself, you want to redeem yourself.  Since you cannot resolve the underlying and fundamentally irrational--as seen from its disconnection with any current observable reality--sense of shame, you invent something very difficult to accomplish, to help alleviate this feeling which would otherwise drive you mad.  I think this is the root of many manias, and all dogmatisms.

Being dogmatic is primarily an EMOTIONAL stance.  Being dogmatic is different from a strong sense of being right.  People who are dogmatic do not want to hear or consider alternative points of view.  People who feel like they are right, but willing to consider alternatives, are open to all feedback.

Logically, if unresolved tensions lead to dogmatism, then more agile, accurate, and useful thinking ought logically to proceed from relaxation.

It is literally my belief that we could achieve world peace in short order if all leaders of all nations were capable of regular deep relaxation, and of the pleasure that flows from it.

As things stand, I think the game, the ludetic system, favors strongly obsessive and rigid people, which is to say people incapable of seeing much of the world, and very capable of misunderstanding most of the rest.


I mentioned Sensation, Image, Feeling, Thought the other day, as a heuristic therapists use to help people become more familiar with their internal world, and more capable of useful introspection.

It seems to me this is also the order in which things happen.  Our body consists in large numbers of nerve endings, and a vast perceptual array which is mostly unconscious.  We are always hearing the background, even when focused on something else.  We are aware of smells, sights, tastes in our mouth, and all our skin, our gut, our heart, our hands and feet, all the muscles in our body.

When we tense up in response to an external stimulus or internal thought it amounts to the same thing.  Thoughts lead to feelings lead to a static image lead to sensations.  Traumatized people have fixed tension within their body, that lead to fixed images (of which they are mostly unaware), muted emotionality, and difficulty thinking clearly.

When we get distracted, it is because a feeling became too strong, intruded, and forced another focus.  This is how you get scatter brained.  And when meditation or yoga or some other discipline seeks to treat this, it optimally works backwards.  Yes, you want to reduce attachments to thoughts, but also to feelings, also to images, and work back to pure sensation, which is unlabeled.  I feel this is approximately correct, although I also feel something is incomplete here.

The other day I was laying in bed and I felt emotional wounds "load" in my consciousness, like computer programs in a computer which is booting up.  I felt one, then another.  Both hurt.  I felt the pain.  But it occurred to me I am slowing down, which is how you see these sorts of things.  You have to watch how you become you in slow motion to see the constituent parts.  We all become ourselves every morning when we wake up.  In sleep, our self is more mutable and latent.  This is why dreams can be so useful.

And I felt, just prior to writing this, so relaxed I didn't want to write. I  just discovered an important and very helpful addition to my Somatic Elicitation program.

When I woke up this morning, my stomach was unusually awake, specifically the muscles of my abdomen.  They felt pregnant with feeling and considerable tension.  So I massaged them a while--this is a Kum Nye exercise iterated in several different ways in different exercises, since this is a major place where unresolved tensions reside--then it occurred to me that logically the most tension ought to reside in all the contracting muscles which lead to a fetal position, starting with the stomach muscles.

So I rolled my stomach 3 minutes on a Coregeous ball, then sat 3 minutes, then again, then sat, then a third time.  Then hip flexors.  I rolled one side three minutes, Couch Stretch 3 minutes, then 3 minutes sitting.  I learned long ago with Feldenkrais that it is sometimes good to do one side, feel what happened, then do the other.  You teach yourself to feel your tension that way.

Then I rolled and used a lacrosse ball on one butt cheek and side of my hip, then Pidgeon, then sit, then the other side.  Then I did two side stretches to stretch my lats--key in contracting--and sat three minutes.  Then I decided to just sit nine minutes, feeling.  About half way through it occurred to me that I used to do Feldenkrais movements very slowly in my head.  It was in fact a method I used to relax myself.

So I thought, why not imagine a very relaxed movement to each side, mimicking the stretch I had just done, but very slow, very loose, very pleasant, warm and open.

I'll be damned if I did not get this deep, deep relaxation come over me.  So here is what I am going to try tomorrow: same routine, but in the 3 minutes rest, do the same movement in imagination, but so, so relaxed, easy, pleasant, warm and open. THEN sit 10 minutes and feel what is happening.

This system obviously can evolve depending on how you grow in flexibility or your perceived need to address areas of tightness, and self evidently can be tweaked to individual preference.

If I had been consistent--and I am rarely consistent--I would also have rolled my pectorals. But that was enough for today.  The butt would not be part of the fetal position, but being something of a hard ass--these words come from somewhere, like pain in the neck and stiff upper lip--it felt right for me today.


It is a Leftist myth, one universally cherished, that government as a CULTURAL form can somehow be superior to the people who constitute it.  Take all the people who work for the Federal Government, and put them to work in the private sector, and they are in the Leftist world diminished somehow, even granted the same morality, same competence, same jobs.

The Social Security Administration, in this peculiar and entirely unexamined way of thinking, is inherently more virtuous than those same people administering private pensions and personal retirement savings, EVEN IF in the latter case vastly more money would be available to the public, under their direct control, and not being made available only through an intergenerational Ponzi scheme, which is bound to crash sooner or later.

Who the fuck is really in charge?

Net: we seem to have sold Saddam Hussein essentially ALL the WMD components which suddenly became a problem in 1991 when apparently, or perhaps intentionally, incompetent diplomacy led to his invasion of land he had long considered part of Iraq, and a strong response, which included the bombing of military facilities we KNEW had chemical and biological agents in them, and the exposure to sarin gas of up to 100,000 US troops, an exposure that I think up to this day has not been admitted.

We created ISIS as a tool to help the Qataris build their natural gas pipeline across a Syria now ruled by Islamic radicals.

I really hope the early indications that Trump scares the shit out of a lot of the power elite indicates that he is going to get our shit straight.

Add to all this government complicity at least in a cover up regarding 9/11, and we have Presidents and senior leaders who belong in jail or shot.  All the killing, the torture, the ruined lives and nations: they are worth something.  And much or all of it was unnecessary policy, pushed by psychopaths to further primitive emotional purposes.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Confederacy of Dunces

I am listening to this book right now, and finding it quite amusing. The relationship between Patrolman Mancuso and his Sergeant is thus far my favorite part.

It did occur to me that Ignatius Reilly might well serve as a template for the modern snowflake: utterly cocksure about everything--and authoritarian in impulse because of it--hostile to alternative opinions, profoundly stupid and unobservant in every possible practical way, lazy, dependent but absolutely certain that he is owed a great deal for his very being and nobility.

Maybe we could call it "Reillyism".  Ignatism?

We could also use this standard to anoint Trump a genius: "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."

Monday, December 26, 2016


Logically, if as a society we want to help struggling young mothers, we need more mothers.  More hands rocking the cradles.  Less stress and more love.

What if in our largest cities we started building places specifically designed to help ensure secure bonding?  Places young mothers could live, where a lot of very matronly older women also lived, to take care of their babies while they worked, to make sure someone always came running when they were in distress?  Communal kitchens.

I feel I saw something like this in Denmark.  It is an excellent idea, in my view, with a strong ROI, in that these kids thereby become much, much more likely to be happy and productive, and much less likely to become wards of the State, by winding up in jail, rehab, or out of work.  And in turn, they are much less likely to become single parents themselves, hopefully.

We have the knowledge we need to build a better society, but far too much of it is lost in drama, propaganda, horrible emotionality, power mongering, and rote stupidity.

As things change, as we move into the future, it is so hard to guess what the effects of robotics and other structural changes will be, so hard to imagine life 30 years from now, but we may as well assume good things are on the way, and that the psychopaths will lose.

On that note, I would assert there are really two ways of envisioning the future: one with universal government and control--most "futurists" seem to assume that the only way to reduce conflict is to make all conflict but that between citizen and the government impossible--and one with universal freedom, where we develop as a species to the point where we largely don't need government.

For my part, I do think we need to work to reduce overall global population.  I think as a human race we can make that decision.  Less people means less bumping into each other, and much greater viability of localized control of resources and lifestyle.

The Greatest Gift

you can give a child is secure attachment in a two parent--male and female--home. This is how we are wired, in my view.  Men have something to offer--most notably an increased sense of security, and ideally emotional stability--and women of course are wired for nurturing and mirroring.

In my view, this is biology.  It may be politically inconvenient, but there are very real consequences to doing experiments in children's development.

As I think about it, I think insecure attachment is likely the core problem with the black community in this country.  The data is clear that children from one parent homes do worse in virtually every metric you can measure, and as I have noted repeatedly, if you compare white kids raised in single parent homes you see all the same problems that plague the black community.  You see increased criminality, failure to complete free schooling, teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, delinquency, and I would guess lower average IQ's.

Babies can't speak.  They can't remember.  None of us can describe our early childhood, but the scars or blessings, as they may be, remain, and remain highly relevant in every moment of every day.

It is impossible for me to believe that very many young girls provide the security babies need to flourish.  They lack the emotional skill and maturity at that age, and in a great many cases they are likely scared: scared of the responsibility--having in a great many cases been raised themselves by a scared mother--and justifiably scared of poverty.

And mothering as a vocation, as something admirable, as something noble, has been under continual attack for many decades.  If I might alter slightly an old saying, the hand that rocks the cradle CREATES the world.  All of us come from somewhere.  All of us were helpless for a number of years, and all of us breathed an atmosphere of calm and peace, or fear and pain.  Most of us of course are somewhere in the middle.

I continue to believe that urbanization, the decay of a sense of place and local culture, frequent moving for jobs, and the decline of the extended family have all made the average American less secure in their attachment than was the case 100 years ago.  We are smarter, certainly, IQ-wise, technically, but in our ability to feel deeply, to love deeply, I wonder if a great many of us are not scarred in ways we cannot see, diminished in something possible but unexpressed because unknown.

It was Social Security and Medicare that got us old folks homes.  This I believe.  A century ago, grandma lived with the family, and took care of the kids, typically with a stay at home mother.  There were multiple hands rocking the cradle, many sources of love and nurturing, and much more TIME to nurture.  There was hard work and hard times sometimes, but those are small problems compared to the feeling of being lost and alone.

You can own the world and be alone and miserable.  This is obvious.  And you can live in a one room shack with  a dirt floor and feel rich, because you are nested within a HOME, with people who love and care for you.  Kids in Africa and India who literally shit in the street can grow up happy and content.  Kids in America who retreat at an early age to commune with electronics in their comfortable rooms, with air conditioning and plentiful food in the house, can and with increasing frequency DO become despondent. This is human nature.  We need each other.  We need loving families.  We need emotional security.  We need a sense of place, of community, of people around us who share our values.

These are all obvious truths, but who is speaking them, outside of people the Left brands as somehow evil? What can the "utopians" offer us but a number and a cell?

Aleppo and the Obama Principle

I asserted in 2008 that any citizenry capable of electing Barack Hussein Obama was capable of believing anything.  I will now call this the Obama Principle.  The idea is that our media, by and large, has in fact gone the Soviet route and that they LITERALLY act as propaganda organs of the Democrats.  As one obvious example, Obama never furnished a legally valid birth certificate in 8 years--despite being asked to do so repeatedly--and the media propaganda around this was so effective that pointing it out gets you branded a kook, even by alleged moderates.

It seems clear he was not even a US citizen when he was elected.  He was and likely remains technically an Indonesian.  He is likely here illegally.  But nobody wants to ask those questions.

Be that as it may, I would like to assert that the propaganda offensive around Aleppo should scare the shit out of all of us.  What seems to have happened is that we trained and armed large numbers of violent Muslims who fairly quickly "purified" their ranks to include only people sympathetic to Al Queda. Al Nusra, as one example, seems to have been a main "rebel" force in Aleppo, and it was revealed today that they treated the civilians in their area horribly, and seem to have used them as human shields, which is why the civilian casualties were so high.  They more or less kept everyone in their area of operations on lockdown, so that any Syrian/Russian offensive was bound to get more civilians killed, that they could point to for propaganda purposes.

I want to be clear: these are the people we allied with.  We armed and trained AL QUEDA, and when it began to appear likely they were going to lose, the government, and its propaganda arm went on the offensive, to beat the war drums for us to intervene on their behalf, even if it meant a global war with Russia.  Ponder that.  Ponder those priorities.  Ponder WHY any sane person would want to replace a bloodthirsty thug like Bashir Al Assad, with people ten times WORSE?  Why would any sane person risk nuclear war for that aim?  What is really going on?  Can you see that it is not a desire for American security, global peace, or humanitarianism?

It really does seem to me that our government under Obama, and perhaps even under Bush, has been bought by the Saudis and their allies.  The SAUDIS want Assad out so they can build a natural gas pipeline to Europe. They also want their brand of Islam expanded and consolidated.  They are likely behind nearly all Islamic radicalism in the world, at least that which is not funded by Iran.

January 20th can't come soon enough. I think God daily that the American people retained enough sense to steer very clear of Hillary, who would have ruined this country completely.

Somatic Elicitation

Peter Levine developed a method called Somatic Experiencing.  Basically, it involves focused attention to the body, to its sensations, to feelings.  Dan Siegel describes something he calls SIFT, which is paying attention to Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts.

In both cases, the intent is to reconnect victims of trauma to their bodies, within which is a lost sense of self and agency.

Kum Nye contains this, but goes further.  You do movements of various sorts,  THEN do somatic experiencing.  I propose this be called Somatic Elicitation, specifically what I call Mild Somatic Elicitation.

I developed last week a method I would call Strong Somatic Elicitation.  I do 2 three minute rounds of fairly strong stretch, then 3 minutes of sitting and feeling, for about an hour, then sit ten minutes, feeling.

My first round consisted in 3 minute side bends on each side, then 3 minutes each side rolling my hip flexors, then 3 minutes each side Couch Stretch, then hamstring work, then rolling my chest and doing a backbend, then Pidgeon pose three minutes each side, squatting three minutes, then finishing with a pose where I put a yoga block under my mid back and stretch the back of my neck and upper back.  It was very relaxing.

And I would distinguish relaxing through Savasana from the intent of Kum Nye, which does also have relaxation as its aim.  Seemingly, the underlying belief in yoga is that if you can wring the tension from your muscles, and then relax them fully, that you become relaxed.  Unquestionably, this is somewhat true. It is a salubrious practice for nearly everyone.

But I read people sometimes find themselves crying doing yoga, or feeling strong feelings come up.  That is a result, but not the intent.  With Kum Nye that IS the intent.  The goal is to learn to feel more consciously, to learn to process and claim your inner world, and in so doing, to let go of all the anxieties and griefs and horrors that existed in your past.  They survive in the dark, but if you go into the dark and shine a light, they want to come out and be free.  No part of us wants to carry trauma.  It just has no choice.  Until it is seen and owned, loved and cherished and released, it enacts the same drama day after day after day, all our lives.

On a related but tangential note, it occurred to me that the reason trauma victims have troubles with self regulation is that delaying gratification implies an empathetic relation between the present self and a future self.  I read recently where some experiments seemed to confirm this hypothesis.

The trouble is, trauma victims really don't have a present self, and thus cannot easily imagine a future self.  Everything is eternally present, or perhaps more accurately, locked in the past, as the world changes around them.  You cannot be kind to someone who does not and never will exist.  You cannot grow, when you cannot first exist.

Every day something new is revealed to me, some small piece of the puzzle ceases hiding and surrenders for my inspection.  It is a very, very long process, dealing with Developmental Trauma, but as long as forward motion is maintained--and it will be--long term success is inevitable.

I will add too that the more I ponder these things, the more I think substantially all psychological dysfunctions revolve around trauma.  Because some traumas happen in the preverbal, prememory stage of life, they cannot readily be diagnosed, and by the time the person is three or so, it appears as what is assumed to be a birth defect, or something random and incomprehensible.  But I think all the Personality Disorders, and even most psychoses relate to trauma.  It may be that brain markers appear which seem to cause them, but I think the brain changes to adapt to the psychosis, not the other way around, at least most of the time.  I am no expert in the field, but I will note that most experts, for most of the 20th century, more or less completely ignored trauma as a factor in mental health.  So Judith Hermann argued, and it made perfect sense to me.

Modern life

Our society sometimes feels to me like an enormous machine which seeks daily to expand.  We are all to be cogs, doing our small part diligently to feed it.

I have been profoundly lazy the past few weeks.  I sleep in every day, and some days I do little but sit around and think and feel.  I sit in silence for hours, just watching the breeze blow through the trees outside my windows, or watch a candle burn.

A Facebook friend posted that old story about the ping pong balls in the glass bottle, about how time is precious, about how we have to make time for what is important, and it occurred to me that efficiency implies we know for certain what is worth doing. I am not at all sure most of us do.

If we say love is the most important thing, can we also say it can be done efficiently? Is one whirlwind romance after another, done deeply, passionately, and temporarily, "life" being done efficiently?

In Game Theory, there is an inherent tension between what they call exploring and exploiting.  Exploring is figuring out what options you have.  Exploiting is staying with one option and working it to its fullest.  In life, I think both remain relevant all our days.  You can't "live" efficiently, in my view.  You can collect experiences.  You can amass wealth and power and fame and success.  But we are all confused, and it is best, I think, to openly acknowledge this.  We can be confused together.  We can laugh and cry about it.  And we can accept it. openly, and willingly.

Confusion need not imply despair.  It can in fact imply a spirit of adventure.  You don't know what is coming, or what it means to you.  All, or most, options remain open.  This is freedom, too.  It is space.  It is room to move.

I would advise prolonged indolence to anyone.  And I would say that the myth of efficiency is, as Jacques Ellul argued back in the 1960's, a propaganda which we have bought hook, line and sinker.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Domestic terrorism

As a general rule, Leftists describe the inner workings of their minds when they offer "descriptions" of the Right.  Everything awful within their own twisted minds they project onto us.  We are not saints, obviously, but we are not black hat wearing villains either.  We are human beings, with complexity and diversity which the ideological Left denies.

[Note on method: As I have said before, when I treat the Left as homogeneous, I do so because it is not an accident of birth, but a chosen religion, one which stipulates conformity as a primary and ineluctable virtue, something which is not the case on what is called the "Right".  This demand for conformity does in fact make it possible to make general statements about them, and to the extent my general statements do not apply, it is because that person is in fact doing a bit of independent thinking.  Such people in most cases do warrant being called liberal, because productive conversations are possible.]

Be that as it may (and I recently realized that I write like I eat: I always try to get too many words into each sentence; it is perhaps a flaw--certainly a flaw in eating!!!--but it makes me happy.  I no doubt would benefit from some instruction both in grammar and etiquette.  Another day, perhaps.) it does seem to me that we saw predictions of "right wing" or domestic terrorism throughout the Obama years, for which there was no basis, but which did accurately portray the inner workings of Democrat minds.  The DHS, which seems to have been corrupted sufficiently to have attempted to hack voting machines at least in Georgia, seems to have dedicated a lot of resources to monitoring Americans who hated Obama.

For their part, no matter how great their fear, most ordinary Americans understood that Obama WANTED violence on the part of white people, so that he could justify further encroachments on our civil liberties.  What terrorism we saw was Islamic terrorism, which was consistently mislabeled for patent political purposes.  White terrorism was the only kind they wanted and needed, and by and large they didn't get it.  The one good one they got they used to suppress the Confederate flag and all monuments to the Civil War erected by the South.  Effectively, they used it to create an anti-white propaganda offensive, and to normalize anti-white rhetoric, which had been percolating in the universities for years, in the public sphere.

But the riots in Portland and Oakland and elsewhere showed an immediate impulse towards violence, violence which is always just below the surface in Leftists.  This anger, this hatred, this disgust with America is not going to disappear.  They are not going to accept Trump as President.

Thus I predict that we will in fact see instances of terrorism by Leftists in coming years.  It will likely be incompetent, incomplete, and perhaps even childish, but their egos have been too bruised to let this thing lie, the way adults, the way conservatives, would and in fact did.


Self evidently, I think I'm one of the smartest motherfuckers around, except when I'm being fucking stupid.  It hits me, and it takes me a minute to notice.  Sometimes, I must admit, perhaps I don't notice.

Be that as it may, I was gratified to read a comment today that felt like something I could have written, except that some of these facts--I assume they are facts, being certainly plausible--were unknown to me.  This is good enough it warrants reposting.

It is a response to this article, calling for manna to fall from heaven to the coloreds (it is a racist article, and warrants descriptive words which are likewise racist) of America, because racism.

Good try. The truth is that the Democratic Party is still just as evil, still full-on Bull Conner-Lester Maddox, bull-whipping, fire-hosing, dog-biting racist. Except, now with a happy face. A smiley face.
One look at the cities you racists have run proved that you have simply replaced one plantation for your captive constituency, harnessed them up to those fine beneficent government programs rather than a plow. Same mindset, same contempt for minorities that you have always had. Your condescending expectations for blacks and Hispanics are lower than they are for whites or Asians, which is the classic definition of a racist. Monsters, all of you. I expect the same educational standards and the same standards of behavior out of every child and adult, I don’t condescend to someone because their skin is darker than my own, but then I am not a leftist who lives in a self-congratulatory fever dream, proud of myself because I have P.C. approved ideas and beliefs.
There is no one in the world more racist than someone who expects less of someone based on their race or ethnic origin, who sneeringly offers them only hand-outs, never the honor of being treated as an equal, which is why I despise all of you.
And of course what has this President done for people in the inner cities and rural areas where there are poor whites, blacks and Hispanics with so many problems? He won't even visit a barrio, a ghetto or a holler, except of course when campaigning for the White House, when he has not choice to mix with people who aren't part of the connected class. No, he can't even tear himself away from the golf course or the Hollywood fund raisers or his audiences with Beyonce and Jay Z to actually work on solving some of the issues in our cities.
Your dirty party has resided over every American third-world hell hole for more than fifty years. Where was all the hope and change? Trillions of dollars have been transferred to the cities since the War on Poverty was declared when I was a young man and guess what? Poverty won. The problem isn't money but a bunch of dirty corrupt Democrats who belong on a work farm, not in the Mayor's office or state house. They want to keep inner city people poor, dependent and compliant. I have made a practice of visiting Americas ghettos and barrios and low-income rural areas and there are places that look more like Berlin in 1945, then they do Broadway or Pennsylvania Avenue. Camden. Newark. Philadelphia. New Orleans. St. Louis. Detroit. Gary. East St. Louis. Baltimore. What do they have in common? High crime, few economic opportunities, expensive but lousy government schools, single mothers, absent fathers, substance abuse and breathtaking violence and the common denominator - Democrats, Democrats, Democrats. For fifty seventy-five, even one hundred years, nothing but dirty 
And the feminists? No where to be found, too busy trying to cook up a fake rape crisis on campus to look at the real ones. Do you have any idea of what the rate of rape is in East St. Louis? 200 per 100,000 residents. That is the type of rape statistic you saw in Berlin after the Red Army sacked it and went on a rampage. But no scummy leftist or feminists gives a damn because the victims and their victimizers are inconveniently black and they only care about white rape victims or well educated and photogenic victims. The murder rate in East St. Louis is 101 per 100,000, which is higher than El Salvador and Honduras two of the most dangerous nations on the face of the earth. Where is the New York Times? The Washington Post? CBC? ABC? Fox? No where, because the victims are inconveniently black and in reality to the "leaders" be they black, white or Hispanic, inner city black lives don't matter at all.
Then, you "white allies" have the temerity to try to portray the malignant communist-backed malcontents of Black Lives Matter as some sort of civil rights movement. Then you preen and pose and signal your virtue by marching and chanting, marching and chanting. Meanwhile young black men are killing each other by the thousands each year and its all shut up in the media because it embarrasses you idiots. None of you give a damn about what happens because all you pawn everything off on the idea that the government is going to solve all the problems. Well, guess what, they aren't getting solved.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Rogue one

Notice how the Empire feels mechanical and cold, and the Rebellion is located in a place that looks like Mexico.

People long for connection to the past, to culture, to something received, as opposed to things perennially new, created, artificial.  The whole thing about men using women's bathrooms: that is manufactured.  It is perhaps the deep rooted fear of realizing the manufactured nature of this controversy which creates so much anger.  The cost of losing is realizing that they have become fully rootless, and utterly lost in a present which has nothing for them, and a future that has less, at least on that path.

I do feel even they process the coming digital future as mean, cold and uncaring.  I certainly do, but even if people don't see this directly, I feel that these images appeal instinctively on a mythic level.

I will add that the Spaniard seemed latently to evoke the "Republicans" (crypto-Stalinists in my own phraseology) in the Spanish Civil War.  If there was ever a romantic--and utterly misguided and foolish--rebellion, it was that in Spain.  And it was brutal on both sides.  They got that much right.


One of the surest and simplest ways to numb deep pains you don't understand is to engineer superficial and concrete pains you do understand.  This is the root of self destructive patterns, which exist in the main because the path to happiness lies in deep relaxation and self knowledge, and if deep pain waits in the places you need to get through to go there, then you will instinctively and self protectively avoid them, avoid conscious deep relaxation, and avoid thinking about emotional growth except when it is forced on you in relationship counseling, or when you hit rock bottom.  For most people, for most intents and purposes, as I recall having said, growing and healing amount to the same thing.  There was likely no pristine time for any of us fully free of pain, although in an ideally attuned home early infancy can be satisfying, I assume.

These avoidances are highly logical, but cannot end well.  Only in knowing that fear and hurt, by befriending it, by connecting primitive feelings with present power, present kindness, present "parenting", one might and with justice could say, can these places be cleared for more effective, more peaceful, happier living.

Most people are driven all their lives in directions they do not understand.  This is masked by obsessions, and accidentally-on-purpose long and short term fuck-ups of all sorts.  That, in any event, has been my own experience.  I have always known I am much too smart to be this stupid, but I have not been able to find an alternative.  Every time I tried to leave the cage I was prodded with pointed sticks, and could in any event not find the door.

However, I think I have now found it, perhaps them.

Wisdom, and a ritual comment on the Left

I think the essence of the word wisdom as I would want to use it is the ability to understand deeply how the world is AND to retain the ability to interact with it creatively, openly, and in a relaxed and even playful manner.  Certainly some people are happy, but most are a bit happy and a bit unhappy, and all too many live in hells of various sorts, filled with death, pain, destruction, confusion, isolation, and hopelessness.

My good nights are my drunk nights.  My bad nights are sober.  I am trying to encourage the latter presently, and all sorts of visions frequently come through me. [Edit: I have as yet no symptoms whatsoever of alcoholism, and I hope I never do.  I am speaking of dreams, and traumatic eruptions in my sleep, of the sort which make the prospect of pursuing a girlfriend more problematic than for many people.  I am trying, again, to quick drinking, but without the feeling of losing a friend, which is what breeds relapse.  A clean break is the product of doing your work, which is what I try to further a little bit each and every day, and feel warranted in saying I do.]

Since I feel many things, and have long allowed what is wicked and ugly in me access to my conscious awareness, I see many things.  You cannot accurately identify a feeling you have never felt, but I have felt most of them.

I feel the insanity on the Left at the moment.  In large numbers they are in full blown limbic activation, some even in the freeze response.  One can reasonably ask, why?  How could educated people in such large numbers fall into and STAY in such a primitive response?  After all, the POINT of a Liberal education is to teach more effective use of the frontal cortex, of the reasoning and social brain, and to facilitate the development of the ability to interact within the domain of reason and shared interest with various sorts of people.  Peaceful coexistence among diverse peoples depends on it.  The alternative is an emotionally rooted tribalism, which can and has led to most human conflict in human history, and is the antithesis of the claimed aims of diversity which animate the RHETORIC of the Left.

The answer, self evidently, is that they do in fact live at the tribal level, at the limbic level.  As the old saying goes, you can't reason your way out of positions you didn't reason your way into.  All these people were simply led down a primrose path which they were told was the path of emotional simplicity, goodness, social inclusion, and the cessation of the need to worry about the future.  Trust, and all will be taken care of is the mantra of the Left.

A cult, in other words.  And for the same reason some people get REALLY upset when their sports team loses the big game--even though it doesn't actually affect their lives in any way many take it very personally--the member of the cult of Identity, self evidently, stake their sense of self on belonging with this group, whose power is their source of solace, whose power is their sense of safety.

That power was soundly rejected, on a national level.  They can no longer assume that they and theirs are in control, and since they have relocated all their conscious awareness of their own hatred, genuine racism, greed, violence, etc. into psychological projections of the hated Other, they see visions of destruction and doom which would overwhelm most of us, even if most of us would never allow ourselves to get that mentally ill in the first place.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016


As recently as the death, the usual imbeciles spouted out the talking points that Castro "instituted universal health care and free education."  It occurs to me the response is: were these great things?  To this, you can expect to hear, "of course!!!"

If they were so great, then why are Cubans forbidden to leave, and put in jail if they criticize the government?

There is no answer to this.  These points are obvious, of course, but we are locked in a long term battle for human decency and basic truth, and it never hurts to continue efforts to refine winning arguments.

The problem, of course, is that most Leftists now refuse to interact in any fashion with people who disagree with them, and not infrequently fly into violent rages at the mere mention of ideational "alterity", to use an academic word.

Obsession versus Enthusiasm

These are two ways of getting things done, but it seems to me obsession is an avoidance--of some deeper emotional hurt--and enthusiasm is an embracing, a love, a connection, a widening and deepening. This occurred to me, since I think I am making connection with the latter.  The former, of course, I have long been on intimate terms with.

Note:  Folks, I bought some cigars, so I will likely have more to say in coming days.  If you like my sort of shit, then this will likely be the sort of shit you like.

I feel better

To the best of my ability, I am following the basic principles outlined by Peter Levine in treating trauma.  I contact primal emotions, but then pull back; I move in, then move out.  This is pendulation (which is ideally from the pain to a safe space you create in your mind, based on a real memory, and/or an imagined place; I cannot ever remember truly feeling safe, so I wasn't able to do this very well, so my version is just pulling my attention back, and playing Tetris or something).

  And he talks about titration as well, which is bringing in bits at a time, but in a slightly more steady stream.  That in any event is how I take him.

The difference I think is that in pendulation you are still dissociated more or less fully.  Those feelings exist in a subterranean space that is of course always functionally present, but rarely consciously present.  It might manifest as dread, or paranoia, an underlying sadness, something missing which you can't quite place.  Contacting it at all is a revelation, and not a very fun one.

In my own case, it seems to be the case that somewhere around age 5 I submitted fully to the idea that I would never be loved and that life was hopeless, completely.  I did not do this consciously, and of course children are resilient, and for long periods of time life itself can keep such feelings at bay.  But I entered this energy the other day.  I entered the feeling of being completely dependent, fully helpless, in the care of someone I feared was going to kill me, and who only rarely made me feel wanted.

If I am honest, I cannot ever remember truly feeling that my mother--or anyone else--loved me.  To this moment, I am not sure I really know what the feeling of love is, although I do think I felt it for my children.  They certainly feel it for me.  I did my job well where they were concerned, even if my issues prevented me from being as effective as I might otherwise have been.  Given what I was otherwise feelings, I think I performed a miracle, to be honest.

Titration is, I think, a more advanced practice, where you maintain, as well as possible, both your old awareness, the one that allowed you to survive, but keep as a companion an awareness that around you somewhere is this other energy that you need to dip into from time to time, and that the process, while sometimes unpleasant, is in the end extremely healthy, and the path to emotional freedom and healing.

Titration can easily lead sometimes to pendulation.  You just have to get out of that place, and return somewhere safer.  But it is the path forward.

I have to laugh--and I do have a gallows humor sometimes--that all my work has been to get to the point where I can now begin the REAL work, which is discharging that energy.

But I have had moments of peace in the past few days, moments where all those old feelings cease briefly, and I feel, I think, like most non-traumatized people feel most of the time.  Progress continues.  My commitment is absolute, even if I do have to take breaks sometimes.

As always, I confess these things, to whom I know not, in the hope of sharing my human journey.  In the end, all is always revealed, and practicing transparency and openness here on Earth is, I feel, useful.  Certainly for me, but perhaps for you too.  Be brave.

Sunday, December 18, 2016


I have long said this should be my theme song:

I am a happy drunk, and have many times been told the next day that I was profoundly amusing.  I love everyone when I am drunk, and I feel all their pain.

I feel deeply about many things, feelings that show on my face, which sometimes scare people.  I am in the process of trying to process some deep, deep things in my life, in my past, and oceans sometimes rush on me.  I am a man.  I can deal with it.  I have balls.

But oh, the floods, sometimes.  I would be hard pressed to communicate to anyone the grief, the sadness, the terrors that sometimes fall upon me.  They cannot be shared.  They are mine alone.  And it is good.  I chose this.  I truly believe this.  You should not praise a drill instructor who accepts anything but excellence.

My job, as I see it at present, is to remain present to these deep feelings, and the overall mission, the point of all this, is for me to learn to recover from deep feeling.  To feel deep sadness, to go into it completely, then to slowly come back out of that abyss and feel normally, to be a normal human being, having learned what that abyss feels and looks like.  To explore, and to have the balls to walk into hell, and the recuperative capacity to heal afterwards, and feel and act like a normal human being.

I went into a local bar where I have become a regular, and they have a woman working there who can work a room of men better than anyone I have ever seen.  It is amazing: she can keep 10 men thinking they stand a chance for hours, and thinking when they leave that the next visit is the one that will do it.  Self evidently, she is people smart.  She took one look at me tonight and asked me if I was tired, or grumpy or something else.  I told her the truth, which is that I can feel 5 different things at the same time, and I wasn't sure which one was predominating, although it was likely grief.  I went to see the movie Arrival last night, and it touched me deeply and I was pondering the role of fate in all our lives.  Maktub?  Feelings flow into me, and I seemingly have the stamina few possess to tolerate their company for long periods of time.

The further truth is that all of us can feel many things at once, but few of us can stay in touch with all those feelings.  Most of us choose one or two, and stick with them.

I am an intellectual, but one who dives deeply into sensations that terrify me.  But what is life without balls?  What is life without risk?  What would be life with perfect security?  If there is nothing out there that can consume me, how can I learn the value of life?  Without daring, what is love?

Presently I have four beers, a bottle of wine, and about 4 ounces of vodka in me, so take all that into consideration.  All of this is truth serum for me, though, and I truly appreciate it.  I thank God for it.  I will push through this phase of my life, but if you could feel what I feel, see what I see, you would understand the mercy offered by intoxication, self poisoning, and following resurrections.


The more I learn about myself, about the effects of trauma, and the more I ponder my parents, the less and less useful the label "narcissist" seems to me.

When most of us hear this word, we think of someone who thinks about themselves all the time, who never considers others, who always wants to be the focus of attention.  This is somewhat true, but it implies choice.

What seems obvious to me now is that such people are made defective very early in their lives by what I suppose we could call Disconnection Trauma.  When as infants or toddlers they seek mirroring behavior in their caregivers, it is absent.  They share their feelings, and nobody cares, nobody responds appropriately, in an "attuned" fashion.  This is horrifying and not processable by someone that age.  So instead they seek from themselves the reactions and feedback that was absent in their environment.  They learn, at a very early age, and well before formal memory development, that they can trust only in themselves, that they must make a world of themselves, that--this is important--there is no one else out there, or else they would have cared for them, and nurtured them.

So at root it is a muted or absent capacity for emotional connection and intimacy.  It is precisely a defect, a gap, evidence of a loss long ago.  It is a type of trauma, and should I think best be labeled as such, particularly if we are to develop methods for helping people cope with these sorts of primal losses.

Queen Hillary

It was quite obvious among those of us reading non-authoritarian news that the election was much closer than the authoritarian news was making it seem.  Cooking the polls seemed a risky strategy--even my kids picked up on this--because there was a very real chance that people who WOULD have voted for Hillary just stayed home since it was projected to be a blowout.  It would be far safer, if she actually was far ahead, to have made it seem close.  Trump, quite obviously, had considerable momentum, so there was never much real chance that his voters would be so discouraged they would stay home.  Republicans, in general, are more likely to vote in any event.  Democrats are disproportionately affected even by minor factors like rain.

So I would like to propose something I have not seen proposed: perhaps they were simply afraid to bring their Queen bad news, lest she scream "Off with their heads!!!"  She did in fact ask at one point, as fellow wonks will recall, after she spent some $200 of other peoples money attempting to demonize Trump, why she wasn't 50 points ahead.  

There was supposed to be a script: you capture the media, you spend a crap-ton of money, and you WIN.  That's how it works.  There is a system, a machine, where you simply push a button here, pull a lever there, and the results follow like water coming out of a faucet you have turned on.  This assumption was why she was such a lazy, crappy candidate, who could do well enough in debates, pumped full of the best stuff money can buy, but otherwise largely stay home, and do whatever someone like her does when she isn't working.

Despite having written about the headless ones, specifically, since the last election, and of course writing about the Left long before that, it continues to puzzle me how so many can be so lacking in the capacity for reflection on both their chosen and publicly stated positions, and the implications of a successful electoral college coup, that they continue this unprecedented campaign of vicious, unlawful and brazen harassment of Electors who have never before in American history been so treated, as far as I know.

In the worst case of treason to their duties, in 1808 I believe it was, SIX Electors either didn't vote or flipped.  They want 37.

Well, nobody thought Trump would win in the first place, and we knew it would be a continual battle with these savages, so I think the right thing will happen tomorrow.  I am going to drink a toast to them and to the American people--who have not gone completely mad--when it does.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Fake news

As I think most intelligent people have noticed, the Left, when running a coordinated propaganda offensive, likes everyone to use the same tested, evocative but vague words.

What are some synonyms for what they intend with the latest assault on truth and decency?  Alternative viewpoints.  False opinions.  Dissenting opinions.  Unorthodox ideas.  Unconventional ideas.  Untested ideas.  Unapproved ideas.

This makes the whole thing a bit more clear.  It is worth, perhaps, noting as one example among thousands, that the same people who want to tell us they have the only real news predicted a resounding victory for Hillary as late as several hours into the election coverage.  It was almost comical watching the New York Times prediction literally invert.  But it really wasn't funny.  People telling lies about serious issues is not funny.  And it is even less funny that now that they have been outed, they are doing everything in their power to achieve full propagandistic control of all media. It's not working, any more than their shameful agitating for Hillary did.

Thank God Trump is going to be our next President, though.  All of this was in the wings with Hillary--she already had her sights set on Drudge and Breitbart--and we are seeing even now, with the unprecedented efforts to bully the Electoral College into betraying the American people, how fully they reject the very ideals of democracy.  There is no good there.  There is nothing kind, gentle, understanding, loving, compassionate, or honest.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Note to Martin Sheen and his ilk

Did you motherfuckers give a rats ass when conservatives explained all the reasons they opposed Obama?  No, you motherfuckers called everyone who didn't kowtow immediately to your Commie propaganda a racist and whatever else was handy to tack on.

Why should the REPUBLICAN Electors, not counting the meatstick who lied about responding to 9/11, needs to be fired, and who was likely never a conservative in the first place, give a flying fuck what all you butthurt assholes believe now?  You lost.  Fucking deal with it, the way you would have DEMANDED we deal with it if America had been stupid enough to elect that dishonest, treasonous cunt.

No, I am not feeling generous, and I suspect I have a lot of company.  You sons of bitches should have just said "OK, we lost", like EVERY OTHER losing party in the history of this Republic.  Your disgustingness is particularly pungent NOW, though, since you swore to "accept the results of the election".  Hey douchebag: that's not what it looks like.  Go sit in a fucking hole somewhere and ask people to pour dirt on you until it all feels better.  For the rest of us.

Thursday, December 15, 2016


Being an odd sort, I was looking at a Catholic cross with Jesus on it, and thinking it made no sense. Spikes through the hands would likely tear out, and who in Gods name would want to try and drive one spike through two feet, even if somebody was trying to hold the still? Ponder the logistics of that: starting the nail, having a foot thrash everywhere, then trying to get a second foot? Seems unlikely.

And why support the feet at all if the goal is slow asphyxiation?

Here is a link on crucifixion:

Here is what I propose: a T, which is simpler and easier carpentry, reusable as they point out, and attested to historically. You tie the mans wrists to the crossbeam, haul it up only enough to get his feet about a foot off the ground--two guys with stools could do this--THEN nails his hands down, just to be sure he doesn't wiggle free. Then you lash his feet to the pole, so he can't move around, but so they give no support to his upper body

His diaphragm is forced to work much harder. Most of us, we get some lung motion by raising our shoulders. This is no longer possible.  The ability to inhale deeply is compromised, and breaths become shallower and shallower. The death is like a slow drowning.

In Christs case, though, there was such a ruckus that he was pulled down prematurely by a Roman and killed with a spear, just to put an end to the circus.


I read today that Sweden is preparing for civil war, Rome is on the edge of it, and 1,000 Muslims tried to shut down part of London to call for an end to women's rights, gay rights, and freedom of speech and religion.

And it occurs to me the situation is exactly analogous to what would have pertained in the Greeks had placed windows in their Trojan Horse and yelled "we are going to kill you" out the windows as the horse was wheeled in, and the Trojans reacted by saying "those Greeks are such KIDDERS!! Anyway, we don't want to seem judgmental and risk hurting their feelings; and, 24 hours later, their city in flames, the Trojans weeping and saying "how could we have known it would come to this?"

As I see it, barring extraneous factors like a global epidemic, a general scientific epiphany that there is a God and it can be studied empirically (my hope), or some sort of revival from within Islam, either the modern era or the Middle Ages will prevail in Europe. There is not room in the long run for both, and as Mark Steyn argued some time ago, demographics favor the repudiation of women's rights, gay rights, etc, and a return to public execution for all manner of non-conformities.

It seems obvious to me that calls for Jihad and Sharia need to be treated as the very real treason they are. Sharia, where found operating, needs to be treated as sedition. All customs which specifically single out women for differential treatment, and which use violence or the threat of violence need to be classified as "terroristic threatening" and prosecuted as actual assaults. Any mosque with repeated offenses, or which is home to frequent offenders, should be shuttered and destroyed.

It seems obvious to me that many Muslims are also disgusted by the violence and hatred they see in their own, and in much of what they read in the Koran. Islam, at root, is about the sense of peace won by submitting ones behavior to the rule of law, and to absolute fidelity to an Almight God, who is one.

We offer no support to moderate Muslims. If they speak up, they do so at considerable risk, and with little hope of effect. Leftists ignore them because they loathe their own culture, western media is not interested, and the radicals see, name, and punish them if they can.

The core untruth of Leftist discourse is that bigotry is the only possible lens through which to see the world. In this lens, all whites are guilty and all Muslims innocent. That this is stupid and childlike--and inaccurate--should not need to be said to anyone, but it remains the worldview of most academics.

Seeing the world as it is, and applying principles WE DEVELOPED, like that of universal human rights, is the first step in the also needed Western cultural reform. We have so many good things to offer the world. Our collective suicide is not one of them

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Electors, hopefully my last post

I keep reading that even in States where they are required to conform to the will of the Electorate, the penalty for "faithlessness" is a fine. However these Electors also exist at the will of the State Assemblies and can replaced if they demonstrate an intention to be disloyal to their party and the people. This guy in Texas, for example, should just be fired and replaced by someone who does not have his head up his ass.

It occurs to me as well that as well as Republicans performed nationally at the State level, we have not been better positioned for a Constitutional Convention in a long time. I haven't looked up the numbers, but with good deal making, much is possible.


Isn't it interesting that the same people who were unwilling to call Alger Hiss a Soviet agent even AFTER he was found with stolen secrets, tried, and convicted of espionage; who have never really recanted "I've been to the future and it works; who defended and encouraged Ted Kennedy's illegal and likely treasonous secret entreaties to the Soviet Communists; who have been supporting every enemy of this country, foreign and domestic for DECADES; now (fuck grammar, if I fucked grammar) claim to see Russians under every rock, behind every tree?  The Russians came, the Russians came.  They are only 20-30 years too late.

If we stipulate that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then I would suggest it is high time we became close friends with the Russians.  They are vastly less dangerous than the Democrats.  That much is obvious.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


Milo: "The "fake news" crusade, which is an attempt to delegitimize conservative news sources as revenge for Trump's election, will have only one result: even more damage done to the credibility of mainstream, left-wing news outlets and TV stations. Good!"

As I think about this whole thing, the absurdity that it has been advanced in public, I reach another conclusion: no one is saying the Russians told lies.  This is not the claim made.  No one is saying they hacked our voting machines.  What they are saying--this is the core claim being made by ostensibly serious people supposedly doing their jobs diligently--is that the TRUTHS they spread so influenced weak minds that they made a BAD DECISION.  This is what they are saying: we need a new election because the American people made a bad choice, because they failed to do EXACTLY what we told them to do, and the only possible explanation for that is that someone else got to them first.  It's not that they understood perfectly well the choice in front of them and made a sane decision.  No: the vanity of our press is such that they CANNOT COMPREHEND the election of Trump in terms which preclude their own moral authority and ideational supremacy.

So Milo is absolutely right that the same people who told the press to go fuck themselves on November 8th are going to have even LESS faith in them now, and their numbers will no doubt grow, as more and more people awaken to these patent absurdities, grotesque hypocrisies, and efforts to vitiate the 1st Amendment.  Nothing in the 1st Amendment requires anyone to tell the truth about anything.  We all know that if you lie often enough, people stop listening to you, and if actual damages occur, then we have a court system.

Even though the media is adept at creating the illusion that large numbers of people hold whatever opinion they are pushing, in large and increasing numbers people are simply ignoring them.

I will add too that the very vigorousness and energy being used to attempt to invalidate this election means we PICKED THE RIGHT GUY.  If Wall Street was fine with him, none of this would be happening.


The core allegation with regard to the Russians is that they were the ones who hacked John Podesta, and released his emails.

They had nothing to do with James O'Keefe, and the resulting firing of the core of the Democrat dirty tricks team.  They had nothing to do with James Comey reopening the email probe, with Anthony Weiner propositioning an underage girl, or with Hillarys criminal background, utter lack of charisma (most people would pay NOT to hear her say anything), record of continual and long term lying about virtually everything, her failed policies in the Middle East (which she also lied about), or with Obama's piss poor record on nearly everything.  Most Americans hate Obamacare, have seen the worst recovery since the Great Depression, feel our nation has become weak and despised internationally, and overall have rejected the DEMOCRATS period in a record number of States, in addition to returning Republican Majorities in both houses of Congress.

Most Americans did not want to go to war with Russia over non-existent American interests in the Middle East.  Indeed, many of us who have studied the issue believe that getting us to do Saudi Arabia's dirty work for them was a core reason they funded roughly one fifth of Hillary's campaign, in a blatant effort to fix the election for her.

And with regard to Podesta, the major revelations had to do with the dirty tricks played on Bernie--tricks Hillary plainly endorsed, since she immediately rehired the disgraced Debbie Wasserman Schultz--and the long term and successful efforts by the Democrats to manipulate the media in favor of Hillary.

From this toxic brew, we are being asked to believe that the REAL story is that the Russians, in revealing the sheer extent of Democrat corruption, somehow tilted what WAS a balanced playing field.  Bullshit.  They revealed how utterly unbalanced and crooked the media was and is; how it is a de facto propaganda arm of the Democrat Party.

And that is if we even believe they did the hacking, which I don't.  Steve Piezcenik has gone on record as saying it was AMERICANS, and this is vastly more credible.  Why in God's name would anyone who loves this country want that lying, cheating, backstabbing bitch in charge of our security and safety?  She treated our secrets with absolutely contempt, our troops likewise, and lied about all of it, and GOT AWAY WITH IT as far as most of the media was concerned.

We have a HUGE issue with fake news, and all of it is coming from the people spreading this fake news meme.  It is a propaganda trick cooked up in a back room by people who knew and know exactly what they are doing, and is thus clinically and precisely Orwellian.  It is a message created by aspiring authoritarians, for whom the notion of truth is completely empty. Truth for them is what works, and what works is truth.

Again, that so many people COULD fall for this bullshit is unbelievable to me.  How do we fix so much stupid?

Monday, December 12, 2016

Fake news, part 2

Who smelt it dealt it.

Five words.  That is a masterpiece of concision, I must say, and I have also evoked the smell of shit.

The Russians

There is no evidence of actual vote tampering by the Russians.  Indeed, all the fraud which seems to have happened favored the Democrats.  We know that cheating is and more or less always has been a part of their strategy.  If nothing else, O'Keefes videos made that obvious.  The recount in Michigan seems to have been stopped in part to avoid disclosure of the sheer extent of Democrat fraud.

So the allegations must necessarily revolve around Russians working to create narratives which favored Trump relative to Hillary.  If we are to concern ourselves with organized propaganda offensives, then, why would we not stop to ask how it was that a horrible human being, failed leader, and blatant crook like Hillary was supported so aggressively that she was even in contention for the Presidency in the first place?  Is it not possible foreign powers worked hard to ensure their narratives were on the nightly news every night?  Did not the Saudis fund something like 20% of her campaign?

It does seem like the world is shrinking, that people's capacity for attention, for memory, for critical and logical thinking is decaying.  How else to explain the monstrosities being presented as credible ideas, and the patent willingness of imbeciles in large numbers to swallow and regurgitate them reliably?  We literally live in a world where they can change their story 180 degrees, one day to the next, and half the country fails to even notice.  One would think DoubleThink would be something you had to force on people, that you had to break them so they would accept it.  No, it turns out all you have to do is teach them the importance of being a member of the herd, and to blindly trust the leaders of that herd.  As long as they are surrounded by people mouthing and agitating the same idiotic and contradictory propaganda, they feel not just OK, but SUPERIOR.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Fake news

What, really, is the point of pointing out that the many networks and publications who lied to get Hillary elected do not somehow constitute credible sources now that their lies have been exposed?  Does any sane person need to be told that?  No, of course not. And the rest can't be told anything.  Regrettably, "the rest" constitutes a rather large number.

I will comment here simply that the current head of the CIA was a Communist in 1976, not too long before the CIA hired him.  He was asked to choose between Ford and Carter, and chose instead the Communist.  Ask yourself: is Communism an evanescent thing among diligent, disciplined, intelligent young people?  Was Communism an obviously desirable alternative to what we might broadly call "Americanism" in the immediate aftermath of the chosen loss of the war in Vietnam?  Did good things happen to the South Vietnamese, or the Cambodians?

What seems more likely: that Brennan had a moment, then became a solid and staunch believer in the American Way; or that he had an epiphany, that he could undermine the "American Way" THROUGH the American way, by becoming a Fifth Columnist?

Fuck the CIA.  With luck, Trump will eviscerate them.  Me personally, I would fire everyone promoted under Obama, fire Brennan, fire everyone he ever so much as had coffee with, and put in place career military whose loyalty to America, our Constitution, and our ideals, was beyond doubt.


I have not forsworn booze yet--at least since the last time I did--so I have decided to get drunk tonight, because it is raining.  Rain always makes me want to drink.  Perhaps so I dissolve in one of the streams.  When the drunk Russian in Nostalghia says the flooded church feels like Russia, I feel Russian too.

And it hit me, sitting on my couch, that the core malady of addicts of all sorts is the inability to find genuine deep solace, comfort and sense of safety in any other human being.  Your drug is your friend.  Your drug is reliable.  Your drug won't let you down.  I've said this before, but perhaps not this way.  Or perhaps exactly this way, and I"m mimicking the drunken O'Malley brothers (the one about the two men at a bar finding all the things they share in common)

I will add I had an unpleasant truth intrusion tonight, something which I recognized immediately as absolutely valid and relevant, but which hurt me.  And it occurred to me that in a healthy person the ego expands and contracts regularly.  Not even that: the sense of self expands and contracts.  Sometimes you are acutely aware of being you--and fine with that fact, in a healthy system--and sometimes your sense of self fades completely as you partake in larger wholes.  It is an organic, natural, adaptive process.

When spiritual teachers speak of eradicating the ego, the intelligent, sane, useful ones (a minority in my view among those who aspire to claim your mind and allegiance) intend learning to loosen what amount to spasms in the emotional and perceptual body.  What came to me was a spasm, a holding, a clinging which held on in no small measure because it was unseen, unrecognized.

It came to me too that the "shadow" self has no need to hide.  It is always there, influencing your thoughts, your decisions, your actions.  What can happen, with diligence, commitment, and honesty, is that you learn to see it standing behind patterns you know intimately, and which you have to learn, once you have seen this goblin, to see differently.  Perhaps you are not the saint you thought you were.  Perhaps you are not innocent of bigotry and hate.  Perhaps some part of you wants to set fire to everything you see, but your smile at everything and everyone has blinded you to this fact.

I am a cynic in many ways, but under that cynicism, I see why people go mad, why most people stay mad, and on some level what it means to be human, living in the "human condition".

Pain is wisdom knocking

Open the door.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

The prayer of the Leftist

Oh, Lord, may those I want to serve always need me more than I need them.  May they never go anywhere, become free, or cease in their desire to be helped.  May they be ever helpless, and may they always look to me as the God I aspire to be.  Amen.

I am Legend

I watched this movie a couple of weeks ago.  As I wake up this morning, I realize that the real theme of the movie is solitude.  I say this because the version I saw came with an alternate ending where the main zombie just wanted to get his girl back.  Will Smith gives her back, the zombies leave, and he heads to Vermont with the girl and the boy.  They quietly hope he is wrong and she is right, and they drive into the rising sun.

There are also four short animated features, each grimmer than the last.  In the first, the last girl alive in Hong Kong writes a suicide note then jumps off a bridge.  In the second an escaped convict finds himself trapped in the prison he just escaped.  In the third (or second: I may be confusing the order, and my memory is a little hazy) Latin American troops gun down both the medical personnel and the people they are treating.  Three kids watch it, and as I recall, one of the kids winds up infected too.

In the last and to my mind worst, a young girl in India is ordered by her father to go to a shelter they have, but she defies him and goes to see a young boy she is in love with.  She comes back eventually, and her father will not let her in, since he fears she may be infected.  They tell her they left her food, and will let her in in 48 hours if she is not yet infected.  She is infected, and slowly goes mad with hunger.  At some point, the door opens, and she sees only ghouls in the vault, and kills and eats one, her father.  Then she goes to find her boyfriend, who is also hungry, and brings him back to the vault, where they kill the rest of the family.

To my mind, this whole zombie thing relates to the regression to a primitive social state while still within an outwardly normal social context.  We Americans--but to some extent much of the West, and perhaps even the world--feel primitive rages, the compulsion for ritual activity that is driven by neurological knots, feel isolated and alienated because we have not yet graduated to higher spiritual states, and no longer have access to ritual mass death, mass hate, mass violence, as seen in wars and true bigotry.

To comment on the specific metaphor, I think a young Indian girl radicalized to left wing politics by indoctrination by her professors would fit this metaphor well.  She no longer loves in any traditional way.  She no longer feels affection for her family, her people, her country.  She no longer exists as part of a whole.  Her mind is warped, her nobler emotions blunted, her sense of anger and violence sharpened, and her capacity to attack her own family at the core of its being well developed.

To return to Will Smith, ponder someone fully alienated in New York City.  They are surrounded by people all day long, but they feel alone.  There may as well be no one on the street.  Perhaps they can trust their dog.  We all get that, I think. This is why "I am Legend" could easily end differently.  A number of other endings would have worked just as well.  What if Will Smith had become a zombie with his dog and taken to still roaming the streets, but only at night?  He would have adapted, but kept his dog. That actually would have been more congruent with the animated endings.

I read in the Old Testament something like "with wisdom comes sorrow", but I increasingly feel that pains have textures, and pain is rarely pure, rarely unmixed with joys, and sensations and feelings which are simply interesting, new, different, if we allow them through in their pristine purity.  This is perhaps one root of masochism, although of course there are others I won't get into here.

And the other day it occurred to me that observing my emotions was like watching fish in a large tank.  They swim around, but they don't affect me.  And I felt, why not expand the tank?  Why not allow my emotions range within a wider and wider universe?  They sparkle and change.  What they are one minute they may not be the next.  I don't control them: I can merely control my focus of attention, and in some cases suppress awareness of what I am feeling, or substituting one emotion for another: perhaps anger for sadness, obsession for helplessness.

I am those emotions, and I am not those emotions.  The I can travel back and forth, and this traveling itself is a form of spiritual growth.  But I do feel the image of emotions in motion at a distance--as opposed to being frozen in amber, in an eternal static form of the sort engendered by true dissociation--is growth as well.  One can enter the "amber" as well, but what it is is a hologram that always enacts the exact same thing, in the exact same order, eternally.

So much of life is softening what is hard, finding new motion in old circles, and realizing how much larger we are than is immediately apparent.  The tacit notion that we are all machines exists at a primitive level, it is bred into us from an early age, and it is both quite pernicious and quite superable.