Thursday, September 22, 2016

Pendulation

I am increasingly realizing that pendulating my own trauma is quite necessary--in and out, in and out--but that dealing with other peoples emotions requires some complex, intuitive coming in and out too.

There is benefit to sympathy, to feeling what others feel. But we also live in a world where something is tugging on this sense continually, every day, and most moments of that day.  If you look, you can find, as you choose, something to gratify, horrify, sadden, or gladden you, each and every day.

To my mind it is superficial to focus ONLY on the positive.  And it is masochistic to focus only on the negative.  It is possible to process both, without a large distance, but with some distance.  You see it, you acknowledge it, but you are not compelled to feel the obvious feelings.  Your feelings are your own.  My feelings are my own.

Maturity--boundary protecting--in this world requires the ability to recognize, to see, to process, to not overlook, what other people are feeling, without also getting caught up in it.

I saw this clearly today.

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