Wednesday, December 28, 2016


You reach a point with Kum Nye where you can feel various sensations, but they have no names and no boxes.  They are literally indescribable and often transitory.

And it occurs to me if my guess that both trauma and habit interact in unhelpful ways to tie the same--usually unseen, unfelt, and unacknowledged--sensations to the same flashes of an image that goes much too fast to be processed, to feelings which are often felt, to thoughts which occupy anxious minds, who then try to only think, to only be logical, to make them go away, then recognizing the various strands and shades of sensation ought to work to disentangle automatic patterns.

You say you feel sad.  Are there not many variants of sadness, and is not remaining stuck in the same sadness not ignoring them?  Most emotions come, if you watch carefully, with latent ancestors, friends, and nascent children.  They travel in families, in packs, and although it can simplify the thinking process pretending them come alone and undiluted, this is not the case, in my experience.

To remain stuck you have to blind yourself to all the motion all around you.

It does seem to me that the whole idea of Impermanence in Buddhism is not just an objective description of the world, but a call to use change as an impetus to positive feelings.  If you never resist change, you can adapt. If you adapt, you can stay positive, happy, and connected to most things and most people, despite bobbing up and down in the continual tide that is this world.  You are not disconnecting from everything and everyone.  No, you are disconnecting from the IDEA--the thought--that you are safe as one person, one feeling, one time, and one place.  That is a terribly dangerous idea, one guaranteed to cause misery not just in the long run, but every single day.

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