Saturday, January 14, 2017

My encounter with the zombies

I was dreaming the other day when a group of people suddenly turned zombie on me.  I looked at them, and thought, I could fight them, but then it occurred to me: maybe I can create a force field around me, so I can see them, but they can't hurt me.  And it worked: I was able to look each of them in the face closely, but none of them attacked me.

I interpret this on two levels.  The inner level is that these zombies represent, somewhat literally, unprocessed energy and stress in my abdomen, and likely particularly my intestines.  This is the hiding place of the trauma that forces me into dissociation, into chronic arousal, into physical tension.  I was able to push "Pause" on this energy, at a deep level.  This is an exceptionally positive development.  It will allow me to get perspective on it.

When you are fighting negative energies within yourself--which for the moment I think I will make synonymous with unprocessed nervous tensions--you are creating arousal out of arousal.  You are fighting tension with more tension.  You wind up locked into a fight with yourself.  In such a fight, you cannot win.  You might will your way into acting in the way your frontal cortex chose, but only at the cost of an increase in arousal.

I felt this literally in another dream a couple weeks ago.  I was fighting some monster with anger, and the anger flowed through the monster, in a circle, and right back into me.  It was a closed loop: the angrier I got, the angrier it got.  It was a very interesting and useful experience.

The outer level on the zombies is that I had been debating someone that day, and been struck powerfully, at an emotional level, how DEMENTED these Leftists are.  I think it was the one where he said war with Russia was fine if we could just keep Trump out of office.  Their sense of reason and proportion, their ability to step back and think dispassionately, their willingness to view their enemies as like themselves, but simply having different opinions, is completely gone.  Vanished.

Clinically, it is I think a form of dissociation.  It is a separation from all the body tools--balance, for example, has a physical analogue--that allow normal people to navigate social streams accurately.  Their empathy is abstract.  It finds no concrete expression in their behavior, outside their tribal grouping.  They consistently conflate ideas with actual reality, which is borderline clinical schizophrenia.

Leftism really is a mental illness.  And this is the core problem: to believe these things you have to be crazy, and to advance in the Party, you have to be crazier than the others.  This means that it is a system which selects accurately for full blown psychopaths.

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