Saturday, June 24, 2017

Gal Godot

Gal Godot gives me hope, because I could see a happy relationship with her.  Now, that line stands at about, oh, 25 million, all after her husband.   I, too, am waiting for Godot. (I would probably benefit from an editor to say DEAR GOD NO at some of my jokes.  To which I would reply: No, Dear God OT.  See what I mean?)

She does seem to have some honest depth.  If there is one nation on Earth that knows about war, it is Israel.  If there is one nation that knows about pointless destruction and endless hatred, it is Israel, which suffers it, to be clear, and would gladly grant considerable concession, if their enemies could be trusted in any way at all, which they can't.

Just to overshare as I tend to do, I was rereading my EEG today, and apparently I have "learning difficulties".  Today.  The EEG was taken a couple weeks ago.  So I am presently performing at some lesser fraction of what I would be capable of if my brain were not in continual turmoil.

It is like there is this huge seed within me which is slowly growing out of the shell of who I had to become to survive.  It is much, much larger than what I have been.  I have been in many respects a mediocrity and I admit it.  I can and will soon do so much better. I am doing the work. I am quite capable of making decisions and suffering for long periods consciously and willingly in the pursuit of inner knowledge.  No one picks me up when I fall, but nothing has killed me so far, and if I am not dead, I am getting back up.

For some reason I feel I may never marry again, but I do think there will be loves, and lifelong intimacies.  I just have to get this weight off my back.

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